IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The two maps below show an island, before andafter the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The two maps below show an island, before andafter the construction of some tourist facilities. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#two #maps #show #island #andafter #construction #tourist #facilities #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The provided two maps illustrate the difference between
Youngsville
 in 1990 and
Youngsville
 in 2010,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is situated in New Zealand, after some rehabilitation.  
Overall
, all houses and
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
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 of woodland that were located in the first year of the period have been totally replaced by skyscrapers, factories,
warehouses
Correct word choice
and warehouses
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 throughout the 20-year duration. It is noteworthy that new
railway
 lines
also
 were constructed in the northeast of
Youngsville
.  
According to
 the first map, multiple
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
trees were removed in the vicinity of
hospital
Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
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 in order to set up
parking
Correct article usage
a parking
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 lot
as well as
 new facilities for people
such
 as golfing, fishing and swimming. Woodland and land houses both near
school
Correct article usage
the school
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 and
airport
Correct article usage
the airport
show examples
also
 were
knocked-down
Correct your spelling
knocked down
show examples
 to make way for new factories and warehouses.
In addition
 to
this
,
Youngsville
 was replenished with two skyscrapers on the southern side of the map adjacent to
railway
Add an article
the railway
a railway
show examples
 line in 2010,
however
, originally, there were just little land houses and greeneries 20 years ago.  
Besides
,
enormous
Correct article usage
an enormous
show examples
 stadium and parking for cars were established on the right of the second map. The extension of the
railway
 lines can be observed in 2010
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
 they were extended up to
north
Correct article usage
the north
show examples
 reaching as far as the stadium.
Finally
,
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
 marina was constructed next to
Correct article usage
the railway
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railway
Correct article usage
the railway
show examples
 station.
Submitted by sayoraalimjanova09 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words youngsville, railway with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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