The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

 The diagram below shows the manufacturing process for making sugar from sugar cane.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The diagram shows information about the stage of producing
sugar
from
sugar
cane.
Overall
, the process of
sugar
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
seven stages from growing to drying and cooling. First of all, the growing of
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
for
timeline
Correct article usage
a timeline
show examples
between 12-18 months. Afterwards, the harvest
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
by
Add a missing verb
was by
show examples
two methods,
such
as by hand and by
vehicles
Change the noun form
vehicle
show examples
machine. When the harvest by two
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
finished
Add a missing verb
is finished
show examples
, picked up one by one
sugar
canes
to the machine to
crushing
Change the form of the verb
crush
show examples
into
juice
. After the
juice
of
sugar
canes
,
this
juice
given
Add a missing verb
is given
show examples
a limestone filter to
purifying
Change the form of the verb
purify
show examples
it.
Then
, the liquid of purifying
juice
poured
Add a missing verb
is poured
show examples
into
evaporator
Add an article
the evaporator
an evaporator
show examples
and heated to become
syrup
. When the
syrup
already separates
sugar
Correct article usage
the sugar
show examples
crystal from
syrup
Correct article usage
the syrup
show examples
with
centrifuge
Add an article
a centrifuge
the centrifuge
show examples
. In the
last
part before
sugar
canes
Fix the agreement mistake
cane
show examples
becomes
sugar
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
drying and cooling the
syrup
to
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
tank to become
sugar
.
Submitted by azizahqonitas on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sugar, canes, juice, syrup with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufacturing process
  • sugar cane
  • harvesting
  • transporting
  • factory
  • crushing
  • extracting
  • juice
  • filtering
  • impurities
  • heating
  • evaporating
  • syrup
  • boiling
  • crystallizing
  • sugar
  • separating
  • drying
  • packaging
  • distribution
  • stage
  • process
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