IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

local culture is badly influence by tourist,do you agree or disagree.

#culture #influence #tourist
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As a result
 of globalisation and the
increasingly
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increasing
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 possibility of travel abroad, people believe that in many places, local culture is becoming mixed by influences of external visitors.
In other words
, local practices,
cousine
Correct your spelling
cuisine
 and clothes are absorbing aspects from other cultures.
This
 essay
desagrees
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disagrees
 with
this
 statement, and it will be developed in the following lines. Travelling abroad and knowing other people and their
culture
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cultures
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 is an amazing way to become aware of other ways of life. The possibility of getting in touch with locals and
learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 more about their history in
site
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the site
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 makes
huge
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a huge
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 difference
on
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in
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 the way we face the world.
However
, some tend to think that
this
 interchange results in
degradation
Correct article usage
the degradation
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 of local habits and beliefs, as far as the local population incorporate
behaviors
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behaviours
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 from outlanders. In my point of view,
this
 opinion is
completly
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completely
 wrong.
Whereas
, fostering
foreing
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foreign
visitation
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visits
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 helps to promote interest in cultural aspects and develop local pride concerning the language, local food, music and dance, and so on.
For instance
, Hawaii is
a
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an
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 island where
hundreads
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hundreds
 of worldwide visitors go. Ceremonies and local customs are presented to the tourists and positive results come from
this
,
such
 as cultural
presservation
Correct your spelling
preservation
 and engagement by the local young generation in these activities.
Thus
, until now the local culture is strongly preserved and spread.
To conclude
, considering that touristic movement toward local communities is a threat is a limited way of thinking about the theme. If we take a look
for
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at
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 the benefits of having visitors from abroad, we can see that
local
Correct article usage
the local
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 population can benefit themselves through cultural fomentation and economic circulation.
Submitted by carinabmurakami on

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introduction conclusion
Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly state your position on the topic and summarize the main points of the essay effectively.
logical structure
Strengthen the logical structure of your essay by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with topic sentences that clearly signal the main idea of each paragraph.
supported main points
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This could be achieved by using case studies, research, or statistics that demonstrate the cultural preservation among local communities in the face of tourism.
complete response
Maintain a consistent argument throughout the essay, ensuring that each paragraph contributes to the overall position you're taking. Avoid contradicting statements or digressions that could confuse the reader.
clear comprehensive ideas
To improve task achievement, deepen the analysis of your ideas and explore the implications or consequences further. Present clear and well-developed arguments that address the prompt thoroughly.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples that directly support your disagreement with the statement that tourism badly influences local culture. Make sure these examples are detailed and connected clearly to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural dilution
  • Commodification
  • Environmental degradation
  • Authenticity
  • Cultural preservation
  • Cross-cultural exchange
  • Cultural awareness
  • Globalization
  • Cultural integrity
  • Sustainable tourism
What to do next:
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