veryone should stay in school until the age of eighteen , considering the significance of primary & secondary level education in a learner's life. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?
Every child should get twelve years of
school
or until eighteen years old, as we know primary school
plays an important role for children
. people
must get enough education
however
it can be a foundation for lifelong learning and development skills
. I completely agree with this
statement in this
essay will carry my opinion.
Firstly
, children
are always curious about everything. In early school
, children
can get basic knowledge from teachers which can help them in future. Moreover
, people
can learn how to socialize with each other in school
as a result
it can help improve communication skills
. Additionally
, people
who get higher education
earn many benefits such
as social skills
, critical thinking skills
, team work
, etc. Correct your spelling
teamwork
moreover
Capitalize word
Moreover
theses
Correct your spelling
these
skills
are valuable in various aspect
of life and work. Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
also
individuals who get enough Add a comma
also,
of
Change preposition
apply
education
can sharpen many skills
through formal education
. moreover
, people
who get higher education
will get better oppurtunity
in their jobs and Correct your spelling
opportunities
career
, Fix the agreement mistake
careers
due to
several companies also
screening the employee's educational background before being recruited.
secondly
, people
who did not attend formal school
lacked not only in education
but also
in the skills
area. for example
, children
do not know how to socialize and comunicate
with others Correct your spelling
communicate
as a result
they are unable to have many friends. also
, people
who don't get higher education
have an average intelligence which can affect on
their economic conditions Change preposition
apply
as a result
number of poverty increases.
to conclude
, everyone is entitled to receive higher education
, which can be highly beneficial for their personal life and economy.Submitted by hafidzaditaf1 on
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coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more cohesive argument by linking ideas and paragraphs together with transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices such as synonyms, pronouns, and conjunctions to improve the flow of the essay.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. State your opinion clearly in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion, alongside a summary of the main points discussed.
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