Task 2 Question You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Some people say free time activities for children should be organized by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #people #time #activities #children #parents

It is often argued that leisure activities for offspring should be organized by

parents

While

others suggest that

children

should have

authority

Correct article usage

the authority

show examples

to decide their free-time activities, I believe that

although

children

should have the freedom to do their preferences,

overall

children

’s activities in their free time should be arranged by their guardians to avoid life threats and direct their correct pathway.

This

essay will discuss both points of view and express my perspectives in the upcoming paragraphs.

On the other hand

, some people believe that free time should be organized by

parents

This

is because

children

lack experience and knowledge about society and their educational background compared to their

parents

, who possess knowledge about it. So

then

, their guidance is more important to the success of their younger

children

For example

, When the younger generation starts to date, they can easily be cheated by scammers, so

elders

Change noun form

elders'

elder's

show examples

advice is crucial to building a strong relationship.

On the other hand

, there is another argument that young people should have the autonomy to select work as they want.

Which

Correct pronoun usage

This

show examples

lead

Correct subject-verb agreement

leads

show examples

to the mental well-being of adolescents and

explore

Wrong verb form

exploring

show examples

their

incribing

Correct your spelling

inscribing

skills, leading to the development of

children

’s thoughts.

For instance

, recent research has shown that

parents

strongly focus their

offspring'ss

Correct your spelling

offspring's

attention on academic work rather than sports, which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

in the student’s

favor

Change the spelling

favour

show examples

. Sports are more important to the development of physical and mental health.

Consequently

, young people might make

such

crucial decisions in their lives to improve their lifestyle. In conclusion,

it is clear that

parental intervention plays a significant role in directing their

children

in the best and safest pathways, despite having a positive impact on their decisions. In my opinion, I would argue that parental interference in decision-making is more important, but

children

should have the freedom to do what they desire under adequate guidance from elders. .

Submitted by nathshasamarakoon on Mon Feb 05 2024

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Introduction and Conclusion

Ensure introductory and conclusive paragraphs are clear and accurately present the topics discussed within the essay. Providing a clearer thesis statement could enhance the introduction, and a summarised restatement of the main arguments could improve the conclusion.

Paragraphing and Linking

To improve coherence and cohesion, work on linking ideas more smoothly. Use a wider range of cohesive devices and transitional phrases to better connect paragraphs and sentences, and maintain a consistent topic throughout each paragraph.

Supporting Examples

For scoring higher on task achievement, extend and develop main points more thoroughly with the help of concrete examples, illustrations, and further explanation. Include more relevant examples to support arguments in both discussion points.

Balanced Discussion and Opinion

While presenting both views, aim to balance the content so that each perspective is explored with equal depth and detail. Also, include a personal opinion which is clearly stated and developed within the essay, making sure it aligns with the discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

310 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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