Fast food is a part of life in many places. Some people think this has bad effects on lifestyle and diet. Do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, fast
food
is so popular that it has become an integral part of our lives. Although
it provides much convenience to busy individuals, it is contended by many that fast food
contributes to poor lifestyle
and unhealthy eating Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
habit
. I firmly agree with Fix the agreement mistake
habits
this
statement as the prevalence of fast food
discourages home
cooking and leads to rising
rate of obesity.
Add an article
the rising
a rising
Firstly
, the widespread presence of fast food
has changed our lifestyles in many ways, one of which is the dramatic decrease of
domestic cooking Change preposition
in
time
. Since the emerge
of fast Replace the word
emergence
food
chain restaurants, people are increasing
buying fast Change the word
increasingly
food
meals to avoid the hassle of cooking. Forgoing cooking at home
results in reduction
of family Add an article
a reduction
the reduction
time
and weaker family bonding. For instance
, in New Delhi, almost half of the families would rather eating
out in fast Change the verb form
eat
be eating
food
chains during rest days than having
own traditional cuisines at Wrong verb form
have their
home
. However
, they found that little time
was spent on family gathering
as they could finish the fast Fix the agreement mistake
gatherings
food
meals quickly.
Secondly
, fast food
has contributed to the rising obesity rate. Fast food
is often served in excessively large portion
that entices people Fix the agreement mistake
portions
overeating
and Change the verb form
to overeat
gaining
weight. Wrong verb form
gain
In addition
, it is high in calories, sugar, saturated fat and sodium and lacks essential nutrients required for a balanced diet. Research findings revealed that children used
to Correct pronoun usage
who used
have
fast Unnecessary verb
apply
food
diets have 50
% higher chance of Correct article usage
a 50
overweight
than those Add a missing verb
being overweight
eat
at Correct pronoun usage
who eat
home
. On the other hand
, the swift serving time
of fast food
has encouraged busy workers to spend even more time
on
work, which may lead to Change preposition
at
further
reduction in physical activity.
Add an article
a further
To conclude
, though fast food
provides much convenience to urban dwellers, the poor lifestyle and diets that it contributes should not be overlooked.Submitted by candylaw on
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to create a strong logical structure within your essay, by presenting ideas in a clear, well-planned sequence.
coherence cohesion
Include an introduction and a conclusion to frame your essay, which you have done well. Ensure that your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates your position.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with clear, detailed reasons, examples, or evidence. Try to expand upon the examples with more detail or illustrate your points with more specific evidence, statistics, or studies.
task achievement
Ensure that you have fully responded to the task. Make sure your position is clear throughout the essay. Consider covering all aspects of the prompt, including why some people might not believe fast food has negative effects.
task achievement
Express your ideas clearly and develop them comprehensively. While your essay has clear ideas, further development could improve task response.
task achievement
Use relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. While you have included some examples, they could be more specific and detailed to strengthen your position.