Numerous museums and historical places are visited by tourists from another zone, not local folk. In this essay, I will elaborate more on the causes of this case and the solution to make the locals visit these places.
There are a lot of buildings and historical spots all around Indonesia
which
almost every province has their own Correct word choice
and
sites
to exhibit the
antiques and unique things. Unfortunately, the local societies rarely stop their own Correct article usage
apply
museums
. There are several factors cause
Correct pronoun usage
that cause
this
matter, first and foremost they found that these sites
are less attractive compared to other
Change the wording
another tourism spot
other tourism spots
tourism
spot in their hometown. The appearance of Replace the word
tourist
museums
and historical sites
is dull and creepy. They have no proper lighting to irradiate their antique stuff. For instance
in Fort Rotterdam in South Sulawesi province, the ambience of their room is very dark, which makes public difficult to enjoy things there. The second reason is the facilities in the museums
and historical zones are not sufficient. The basic facilities such
as the toilet or restroom are quite hard to reach. In Sinjai Museum, the visitors have to go to the outside of the building if they want to go to the restroom. This
matter makes the visitors feel uncomfortable. All of these reasons make the locals who are knew of the matter rarely stop the places.
There are some actions that the government can apply to attract more local community. The authorities should improve the looks of their museums
and historical sites
to be more convenient and interesting to visit. They could put proper lighting and add ornaments that could make the appearance more modern. In addition
, some facilities for the visitors must be well maintained and managed. The basic thing like toilets must be convenient. Besides
that, café and restaurants with unique looks will attract more local population. In conclusion, both the government and society are responsible for the development of museums
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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coherence cohesion
To improve in coherence and cohesion, ensure that your essay has a clear overall structure with a distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of linking words to connect ideas more seamlessly.
task achievement
To better address the task response, be sure to fully answer all parts of the prompt. Develop your main points more thoroughly and ensure that your essay clearly presents these ideas. Make sure to provide more specific examples to support your arguments, which can help to make your response more detailed and persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite