IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

#countries #smoke #places #people
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In these
Change preposition
These
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 days, it is common the use
of
Change preposition
apply
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cigarettes to combat stress and other situations for some
people
. The problem comes when smoking impact negatively in the health of non-smokers.
For
this
 reason, I agree totally with policies against
to consume
Change the verb form
consuming
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 those noxious things publicly and I will elucidate the aforementioned notion.
To begin
 with, the waste derived from tobacco includes toxic gases that innocent lives could be exposed to them,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 children, disabled
people
, and elderly communities. As a sample, in just one exhalation can be emitted
highly
Change the word
high
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 concentrations of ammonia, nitrogen oxides, cyanide, and carbon monoxide, those compounds alter hazardously the status of lungs as smokers as non-smokers.
Hence
, it is compulsory
avoid
Add the particle
to avoid
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risky
Correct article usage
the risky
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 effects of secondhand pollution from uninvolved
people
 specifically in public places.
Secondly
,
this
 measurement can't be considered as a prohibition, all
people
is
Change the verb form
are
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 free to do with their body as they
pleased
Wrong verb form
please
show examples
.
As a result
, recently have been installed unique places regard smokers.
For instance
, there are exclusive spaces in parks
to
Change preposition
for
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 leisure and
enjoy
Replace the word
enjoyment
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 with others the benefits provide tobacco without
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
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 nobody else than themselves.
Thus
, both sides are taken into account, for one side, the right to
free-smoking
Correct article usage
a free-smoking
show examples
 environment, and the other one, the free desire
of
Change preposition
to
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 feel calm, relax, and reduce stress levels by inhalating
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
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.
To sum up
,
smoke
Fix the agreement mistake
smoking
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 is legal and
people
 are free and warned about
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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 and cons of its
consume
Replace the word
consumption
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.
Nonetheless
, the effects of the fog can't be relayed
on
Change preposition
to
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 virtuous communities.
Therefore
, I consider
fair
Correct pronoun usage
it fair
show examples
 that
people
 who wish
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
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these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of narcotics should leave the building and go to allowed areas.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each representing a distinct point of view or argument supporting your position. Connect ideas with linking words to build a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the topic, but to achieve a higher score, ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with more depth and development of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
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