In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
days, it is common the use
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cigarettes to combat stress and other situations for some
people
. The problem comes when smoking impact negatively in the health of non-smokers.
For
this
reason, I agree totally with policies against
to consume
Change the verb form
consuming
show examples
those noxious things publicly and I will elucidate the aforementioned notion.
To begin
with, the waste derived from tobacco includes toxic gases that innocent lives could be exposed to them,
specially
Replace the word
especially
show examples
children, disabled
people
, and elderly communities. As a sample, in just one exhalation can be emitted
highly
Change the word
high
show examples
concentrations of ammonia, nitrogen oxides, cyanide, and carbon monoxide, those compounds alter hazardously the status of lungs as smokers as non-smokers.
Hence
, it is compulsory
avoid
Add the particle
to avoid
show examples
risky
Correct article usage
the risky
show examples
effects of secondhand pollution from uninvolved
people
specifically in public places.
Secondly
,
this
measurement can't be considered as a prohibition, all
people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
free to do with their body as they
pleased
Wrong verb form
please
show examples
.
As a result
, recently have been installed unique places regard smokers.
For instance
, there are exclusive spaces in parks
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
leisure and
enjoy
Replace the word
enjoyment
show examples
with others the benefits provide tobacco without
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
show examples
nobody else than themselves.
Thus
, both sides are taken into account, for one side, the right to
free-smoking
Correct article usage
a free-smoking
show examples
environment, and the other one, the free desire
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
feel calm, relax, and reduce stress levels by inhalating
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
.
To sum up
,
smoke
Fix the agreement mistake
smoking
show examples
is legal and
people
are free and warned about
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
show examples
and cons of its
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
.
Nonetheless
, the effects of the fog can't be relayed
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
virtuous communities.
Therefore
, I consider
fair
Correct pronoun usage
it fair
show examples
that
people
who wish
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
of narcotics should leave the building and go to allowed areas.
Submitted by natalyrau13 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each representing a distinct point of view or argument supporting your position. Connect ideas with linking words to build a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the topic, but to achieve a higher score, ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with more depth and development of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
What to do next:
Look at other essays: