IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries it is now illegal to smoke in public places. It is only fair that people who wish to smoke should have to leave the building. Do you agree or disagree?

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In these
Change preposition
These
show examples
 days, it is common the use
of
Change preposition
apply
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cigarettes to combat stress and other situations for some
people
Use synonyms
. The problem comes when smoking impact negatively in the health of non-smokers.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, I agree totally with policies against
to consume
Change the verb form
consuming
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 those noxious things publicly and I will elucidate the aforementioned notion.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the waste derived from tobacco includes toxic gases that innocent lives could be exposed to them,
specially
Replace the word
especially
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 children, disabled
people
Use synonyms
, and elderly communities. As a sample, in just one exhalation can be emitted
highly
Change the word
high
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 concentrations of ammonia, nitrogen oxides, cyanide, and carbon monoxide, those compounds alter hazardously the status of lungs as smokers as non-smokers.
Hence
Linking Words
, it is compulsory
avoid
Add the particle
to avoid
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risky
Correct article usage
the risky
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 effects of secondhand pollution from uninvolved
people
Use synonyms
 specifically in public places.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 measurement can't be considered as a prohibition, all
people
Use synonyms
is
Change the verb form
are
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 free to do with their body as they
pleased
Wrong verb form
please
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.
As a result
Linking Words
, recently have been installed unique places regard smokers.
For instance
Linking Words
, there are exclusive spaces in parks
to
Change preposition
for
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 leisure and
enjoy
Replace the word
enjoyment
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 with others the benefits provide tobacco without
affect
Wrong verb form
affecting
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 nobody else than themselves.
Thus
Linking Words
, both sides are taken into account, for one side, the right to
free-smoking
Correct article usage
a free-smoking
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 environment, and the other one, the free desire
of
Change preposition
to
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 feel calm, relax, and reduce stress levels by inhalating
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
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.
To sum up
Linking Words
,
smoke
Fix the agreement mistake
smoking
show examples
 is legal and
people
Use synonyms
 are free and warned about
pros
Correct article usage
the pros
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 and cons of its
consume
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, the effects of the fog can't be relayed
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 virtuous communities.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I consider
fair
Correct pronoun usage
it fair
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 that
people
Use synonyms
 who wish
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of narcotics should leave the building and go to allowed areas.

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to organize your essay with clear paragraphs, each representing a distinct point of view or argument supporting your position. Connect ideas with linking words to build a cohesive argument.
task achievement
Your essay addressed the topic, but to achieve a higher score, ensure that all parts of the prompt are fully addressed with more depth and development of ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • secondhand smoke
  • respiratory problems
  • cardiovascular disease
  • clean air
  • public health
  • hospital admissions
  • economic benefits
  • smoking cessation
  • cultural shift
  • healthcare costs
  • smoke-free laws
  • enforcement
  • designated smoking areas
  • compliance
  • social attitudes
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