In a number of counties, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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It is considered by
some
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Some
show examples
that it is vital to allocate a large amount of
money
Use synonyms
for new railway
lines
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line
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construction for commuting faster between areas,
while
Linking Words
there are others who think that
this
Linking Words
budget could
be better use
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be better used
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
existence
Replace the word
existing
show examples
public transportation.
Although
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,
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apply
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I agree that it is important to enhance the quality of transportation which
is exist
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exists
show examples
in cities, I do not think that we should not dedicate some
money
Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
improving new
rail ways
Correct your spelling
railways
show examples
. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, some people hold the view that
consturcting
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constructing
new railway lines for fast
transfering
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transferring
is essential in regions.
This
Linking Words
is because, in
this
Linking Words
fast-pace
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fast-paced
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world
that
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apply
show examples
individuals are in a rush all the
time
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and they even have no
time
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for undertaking
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to undertake
show examples
their main duties saving
time
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is a significant point. And
also
Linking Words
becaus
Correct your spelling
because
lots of people come from suburbs or even other cities to their
work place
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workplace
show examples
, it could be helpful
in addition
Linking Words
saving
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to saving
show examples
Use synonyms
time saving
Add a hyphen
time-saving
show examples
their
money
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. A good illustration
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
that is
Linking Words
people who come from Karaj to Tehran. They spend
time
Use synonyms
over 2 or 3 hours on roads and highways to reach their destination.
Thus
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, if nations tackle
this
Linking Words
problem by adding new railways and faster trains it would be useful for them.
On the other hand
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, the opposing view asserts that
money
Use synonyms
should be spent on current public transportation to make them
more
Change the word
apply
show examples
better. The compelling reason for
this
Linking Words
assertation
Correct your spelling
assertion
show examples
is that they presume there are lots of trains or buses which were broken down. To put it differently, there are roads and railway lines which need to be
repaird
Correct your spelling
repaired
.
therefore
Linking Words
, they are useless or even dangerous.
In addition
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, they assume that a great amount of budget
were
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was
show examples
spent on them and
shoul
Correct your spelling
should
be
repaird
Correct your spelling
repaired
or improved. Take broken
busses
Correct your spelling
buses
show examples
as an
exampl
Correct your spelling
example
;
Although
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, there are
numerious
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numerous
of them in
garage
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the garage
a garage
show examples
but
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apply
show examples
they
do
Verb problem
are
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not
use
Wrong verb form
used
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in
transfering
Correct your spelling
transferring
.
Hence
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, it is logical to repair them and
also
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employ
again
Correct pronoun usage
them again
show examples
.
To conclude
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, there are valid arguments on both sides of the
controversey
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controversy
; on
balanc
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balance
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
it is my firm conviction that nations could dedicate a certain amount of budget to both issues.
Submitted by niloofar_sk33 on

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Language Use
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. Use proper punctuation and maintain consistency in verb tenses throughout the essay.
Essay Structure
Keep a clear structure with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and sequentially follow one another.
Argument Development
Develop your arguments by providing more clear, relevant, and specific examples to support your points. Also, include counterarguments and refutations where appropriate.
Cohesion
Link ideas between sentences and paragraphs more clearly using a variety of cohesive devices such as conjunctions, lexical chains, and transition phrases.
Introduction & Conclusion
Refine your introduction and conclusion to more clearly state the question topic, your thesis, and a brief summary of your main arguments. Ensure the conclusion encapsulates your opinion coherently.
Task Response
Address all parts of the task ensuring to discuss both views and give your own opinion throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • high-speed trains
  • travel time
  • business activities
  • tourism
  • cutting-edge technology
  • competitive
  • global scale
  • innovation
  • progress
  • alleviate traffic congestion
  • lower carbon emissions
  • sustainable mode of transportation
  • cost-effective
  • existing infrastructure
  • upgrades
  • positive impact
  • daily commutes
  • quality of life
  • environmental disruption
  • natural landscapes
  • urban skylines
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