There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#factors #people #workforce #money #reason #factor

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many

people

Use synonyms

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

that

money

Use synonyms

is a major key to consider a

job

Use synonyms

to be worthy.

While

Linking Words

it is true that

money

Use synonyms

is important , other main reasons must be considered

along with

Linking Words

it.

Nontheless

Correct your spelling

Nonetheless

this

Linking Words

essay displays that

money

Use synonyms

alone can not be the only main

factor

Use synonyms

. On one hand , it is widely accepted by

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

people

Use synonyms

that with

money

Use synonyms

not all but most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

things

Add an article

the things

show examples

can be

accessable

Correct your spelling

accessible

Due to

Linking Words

the offers that

market

Correct article usage

the market

show examples

tries to

decieve

Correct your spelling

deceive

us with , it is impossible to live without

money

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, the costs of accommodation and studying

Linking Words

this days

Change the determiner

this day

these days

show examples

have highly increased.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the need

of being

Change preposition

to be

show examples

observed is another fact nowadays ,

therefore

Linking Words

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Use synonyms

care about

there

Replace the word

their

show examples

performance in public which

requiers

Correct your spelling

requires

good clothing that costs

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

According to

Linking Words

many articles, not only

money

Use synonyms

is an important

factor

Use synonyms

, but it is

also

Linking Words

needed to get a

job

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in the first place

since

Change preposition

apply

show examples

because

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

most of the

time

Use synonyms

, a university degree is needed to apply for a

job

Use synonyms

filed

Correct your spelling

field

show examples

and

costs

Correct article usage

the costs

show examples

leaning

Correct your spelling

learning

show examples

are not cheap.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a

job

Use synonyms

is something that

people

Use synonyms

doing it must get

Remove the article

apply

show examples

satisfaction from and

its

Correct your spelling

it is

show examples

not possible only

Change preposition

with

show examples

money

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

humans have a need

for being

Change preposition

to be

show examples

respected in public which is something that wealth has little to do with

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. Another

factor

Use synonyms

would be the working

time

Use synonyms

and free

time

Use synonyms

for the workers. Based on a report made by

Washington

Correct article usage

the Washington

show examples

post

Capitalize word

Post

show examples

, over 80 percent

Men

Change preposition

of Men

show examples

and Women who were happy with their

Use synonyms

job

Fix the agreement mistake

jobs

show examples

, had a boundary between their workplace and free

time

Use synonyms

at their house. In conclusion , it can be said that

eventhough

Correct your spelling

even though

money

Use synonyms

plays an important role

Change preposition

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

job

Use synonyms

value , it is not the main

factor

Use synonyms

and other reasons must be considered

along with

Linking Words

it.

Submitted by mhosseinnaseri14 on Mon Feb 05 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that the paragraph's sentences support that idea directly.

coherence cohesion

Work on the logical flow of the essay by improving transitions between sentences and paragraphs.

task achievement

Try to avoid general statements and focus on providing more detailed, specific examples to support your points.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive phrases and aim for a variety of complex sentence structures to articulate your ideas more clearly.

coherence cohesion

Double-check your spelling and grammar as errors can affect the clarity of your argument.

task achievement

Develop your conclusion further by summarizing your key points and reiterating your position in a nuanced way.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
basic needs
career advancement
pension
job satisfaction
sense of purpose
social connections
workplace relationships
intellectual stimulation
societal norms
earning potential
motivation
livelihood
financial independence
professional growth

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There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later, and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

ChatGPT Some people believe that in order to reduce the rising obesity among children the school administration should make it necessary for every child to participate in sports and other outdoor activities.