IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000and 2010.

The charts below show the proportion of British students at one university in England who were able to speak other languages in addition to English, in 2000and 2010.
#show #proportion #british #students #university #england #languages #addition #english
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These pies graphs display the percentage of
students
Use synonyms
 in an
England University
Correct your spelling
English university
show examples
 who know how to speak a different
language
Use synonyms
 between 2000 to 2010, having as features
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
spanish
Change the capitalization
Spanish
show examples
, french,
Germany
Replace the word
German
show examples
 and other languages or two
language
Use synonyms
Overall
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 university, most
students
Use synonyms
 speak Spanish in comparison with the other categories, and the percentage of German is the same
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 those years.
Also
Linking Words
, the data
reduced
Add a missing verb
was reduced
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the category of no other
language
Use synonyms
,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 means the
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 have been learning other kinds of
language
Use synonyms
 different to English. In 2000, Spanish started with 30
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and went up 5 more in 2010,
as well as
Linking Words
, the
students
Use synonyms
 learn another
language
Use synonyms
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 since the percentage in 2010 rose 5 more.
however
Linking Words
, some features were down in 2010, as French having 15 and reducing to 5 less. Germany kept the same values and the data for the two languages was the same as well with 10. In conclusion, the data have been increasing
according to
Linking Words
 the
students
Use synonyms
 who
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 learning another
language
Use synonyms
 without matter which one, since the number reduced half of.
Submitted by jennitobon16 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words students, language with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reduced" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: