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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that teaching children at home is best for a child’s development while others think that it is important for children to go to school. Discuss the advantages of both methods and give your own opinion.

#people #children #home #child’s #development #school #methods
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Education is the most important stage of a child's life. There are different ways to educate
children
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. Some of the kids are learning lessons at home,
while
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 the majority of the
students
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 are being
tought
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taught
 at institutions. I totally believe that going to
school
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 is the best way for youngsters to be educated.
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School
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The school
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 makes
children
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 develop their social skills
as well as
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 science. It helps the
students
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 learn how to socialize with others and adapt to differences between each individual's way of thinking.
For example
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, pupils have a chance to do group activities together and learn how to handle misunderstandings and other problems that could arise from socialization at
school
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.
Hence
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, attending the facilities rather than learning at home gives minors the opportunity to enhance their social knowledge and be a better member of the association in the future.
Additionally
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,
students
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 in institutions can have positive effects on each other's learning and effort.
For example
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, they can think about a creative question
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from
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of
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from
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 a classmate or
alanyze
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analyze
 problems from a different point of view.
Also
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, learning together brings up the
rivality
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rivalry
reality
 between
students
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 and makes them want to try harder and study more.
Therefore
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, schools create an environment
which
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in which
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children
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 are being encouraged to proceed and develop themselves.
Overall
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, learning at facilities has undeniable benefits which cannot be unseen. It brings socialization skills and encouragement for
studing
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studying
 for
children
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 And none of these are reachable for home-schooled
students
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. It is recommended for parents to send their kids to
school
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 and let it handle the teaching of their child.
Submitted by mohamad.sanaye462 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you fully address all parts of the task; the essay should discuss the advantages of both homeschooling and schooling, but the essay largely focuses on the benefits of schooling.
task achievement
Make your opinion clear throughout the essay and not just in the conclusion, as required by the task.
coherence and cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices and paragraphing to structure your essay; this essay could benefit from clearer transitions and varied linking words to better signal connections between ideas.
task achievement
Expand on the advantages of homeschooling to present a more balanced discussion before stating your own opinion.
task achievement
Provide specific examples to support your claims about the benefits and drawbacks of each educational method; this essay could be strengthened with more detailed illustrations.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized learning
  • cater
  • flexible schedule
  • extracurricular activities
  • safe learning environment
  • bullying
  • peer pressure
  • socialization
  • diversity awareness
  • structured environment
  • discipline
  • punctuality
  • resources and facilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • specialized subjects
  • experts
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