Today, many young people spend too much of their free time at shopping malls. This can be considered negative for young people and society generally. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Although
most people believe that many young people spend too much of their free moment at shopping shopping
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
show examples
can have a negative impact on them and society is acceptable. I totally agree with the statement about the negative impact on
a young guys
Correct the article-noun agreement
a young guy
young guys
show examples
. I will examine
this
detail in a
further
essay. Out of all the arguments, the strongest one to prove my view is wasting
time
.
This
is to say young guys have a lot of things to learn during their young age and they should spend their
time
studying and developing their personal skills. As a good example, most
of
Change preposition
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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shopping
malls
are not designed only for the young, there are a lot of attractions that are made for adults like liquor shops and cigarette promotion counters. Spending too much
time
there and seeing often those counters will lead young children to want to try it. The other reason to prove my point is that they will get bored in their study. Mostly, shopping
malls
are full of attractive events and activities for their visitors. If the young guys spend too much
time
there, they will be less interested in their studies and they will end up with negative results.
On the other hand
, people consider about social development
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
of
young
Correct article usage
the young
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.
This
is a very important skill for young. If the young spend all of their
time
studying at schools without visiting shopping
malls
and other places, they will not be able to learn the real social
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
that
uses
Wrong verb form
used
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in their real life . In conclusion, it can be said that spending too much
time
in the shopping
malls
will give good social skills to the young. On the other
hands
Fix the agreement mistake
hand
show examples
,
this
can lead to negative impacts
such
as wasting
time
and less interest in their study.
Submitted by mr.shinephonemyat on

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introduction conclusion present
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logical structure
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supported main points
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complete response
Make sure to address the prompt completely by discussing both views to some extent and clearly stating to what extent you agree or disagree.
clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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