Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better wasy to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #gifts #friends #show #care #wasy

A little person

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that it is central to give

gift

Fix the agreement mistake

gifts

show examples

to friends and

coat

Correct article usage

a coat

show examples

of arms to show that we auto about

them.No

Correct your spelling

them

think that there are better ways to show that we care. In my opinion,I think that giving gifts is a good way to care

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because many things cannot be solved with

gift

Fix the agreement mistake

gifts

show examples

money

.I think that they should be replaced by sweet water,kindness and sincerity.

For example

nowadays,

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

and even young

children

are full of culture.Parents come saying that you have beaten my child.Before they used to say that the flesh is yours and

yhe

Correct your spelling

the

bones are ours.Now suddenly they come with the police.What

Correct your spelling

show examples

this

? What kind of people will these

children

be in the future if

this

situation continues?

This

problem needs to be solved. What should be done

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

this

?First of all,I think that parents should be more careful,They should educate their

children

well and teach them to respect the

elder

Correct your spelling

older

show examples

and the younger.Today's

children

get married thinking that

money

will solve everything,but it

Correct your spelling

show examples

necessary to explain that if you have

money

,you are a burden,if you don't have a girlfriend,

this

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

lot of

money

,it is still not a burden to find a friend,Nowadays,the choice of a friend is becoming come and more difficult.

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Tue Feb 06 2024

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Introduction & Conclusion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for structuring your argument coherently. An introduction should present the topics to be discussed, and a conclusion should summarize your argument and restate your opinion. Make sure to include both in your essay.

Supporting Ideas

The main points of your argument are not well developed or supported with relevant examples. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea related to the question, and support your points with specific examples or explanations.

Logical Structure

Work on creating a more logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic that contributes to the overall argument. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Task Response

The prompt requires you to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. Ensure that you provide a balanced discussion by dedicating a section to discuss each view before presenting your opinion. This will help to fully satisfy the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

209 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better wasy to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Some countries have recently passed laws limiting the daily working hours of employees. Do you think this will have a positive or negative impact.

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behavior both on and off the field can have a negative influence. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think governments should spend as much money as possible exploring outer space. Others argue they should spend the money for poor people. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.

Some people think the government should subsidize fruit and vegetables to make healthy food more affordable. Other argue that the government should tax unhealthy food instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?