Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better wasy to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #gifts #friends #show #care #wasy

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

A little person

believe

Change the verb form

believes

show examples

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

that it is central to give

gift

Fix the agreement mistake

gifts

show examples

to friends and

coat

Correct article usage

a coat

show examples

of arms to show that we auto about

them.No

Correct your spelling

them

think that there are better ways to show that we care. In my opinion,I think that giving gifts is a good way to care

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because many things cannot be solved with

gift

Fix the agreement mistake

gifts

show examples

money

Use synonyms

.I think that they should be replaced by sweet water,kindness and sincerity.

For example

Linking Words

nowadays,

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

and even young

children

Use synonyms

are full of culture.Parents come saying that you have beaten my child.Before they used to say that the flesh is yours and

yhe

Correct your spelling

the

bones are ours.Now suddenly they come with the police.What

Correct your spelling

show examples

this

Linking Words

? What kind of people will these

children

Use synonyms

be in the future if

this

Linking Words

situation continues?

This

Linking Words

problem needs to be solved. What should be done

for

Change preposition

about

show examples

this

Linking Words

?First of all,I think that parents should be more careful,They should educate their

children

Use synonyms

well and teach them to respect the

elder

Correct your spelling

older

show examples

and the younger.Today's

children

Use synonyms

get married thinking that

money

Use synonyms

will solve everything,but it

Correct your spelling

show examples

necessary to explain that if you have

money

Use synonyms

,you are a burden,if you don't have a girlfriend,

this

Linking Words

Add a missing verb

is a

show examples

lot of

money

Use synonyms

,it is still not a burden to find a friend,Nowadays,the choice of a friend is becoming come and more difficult.

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Tue Feb 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction & Conclusion

The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for structuring your argument coherently. An introduction should present the topics to be discussed, and a conclusion should summarize your argument and restate your opinion. Make sure to include both in your essay.

Supporting Ideas

The main points of your argument are not well developed or supported with relevant examples. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea related to the question, and support your points with specific examples or explanations.

Logical Structure

Work on creating a more logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic that contributes to the overall argument. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.

Task Response

The prompt requires you to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. Ensure that you provide a balanced discussion by dedicating a section to discuss each view before presenting your opinion. This will help to fully satisfy the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

209 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. In your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home?
As school education is developing, many parents are faced with the challenge of choosing an educational program for their kids. Some of them prefer conventional school curricula, while others start thinking of homeschooling. Being a parent I have been thinking about this question a lot and I am convinced that traditional education should be obligatory. In my essay, I would like to discuss this issue and present some arguments to support my point of view.
8.5
band
A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/ unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter: * explain why you want to do voluntary/unpaid work at the museum * describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful * give details of when you would be available for work
I am writing this letter regarding the position to do voluntary work at the National Arts Museum.
7.5
band
Under British and Australian laws a jury in a criminal case has no access to information about the defendant's past criminal record. This protects the person who is being accused of the crime. Some lawyers have suggested that this practice should be changed and that a jury should be given all the past facts before they reach their decision about the case. Do you agree or disagree?
According to British and Australian legislation judge, members are not allowed to access past defendant misdeeds to safeguard the convicts, However, some connoisseurs proposed a change of the rule, permitting the jury to know the outlaws' past life for the sake of better judgment. Personally, I agree with the view owing to the fact that a shortfall in information could condemn innocents. Although, it has its adverse side effects. This essay will shed light on the matter and provide evidence to prove the arguments.
7
band
THE FOREST AND THE NEED TO PRESERVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?
Nowadays, there has been a big debate regarding forest preservation. Some folks believe that wild land should be used for different purposes such as shopping centers, and theatres, whereas others think it is a big part of life . However, I believe the wild can be beneficial for several purposes namely, ecosystem, tourism and air purification and the following paragraphs will expatiate both stances with lucid examples.
4.5
band
Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible sollutions?
There can be little doubt that looking after the aged make people time-consuming to care for themselves.This problem is attribute to manage time due to work and cost implications but can be addressed by share responsibility.

Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better wasy to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Interest in homeschooling is becoming more widespread around the world. In your opinion, should school be compulsory for all children, or should families be allowed the right to choose to educate their children at home?

THE FOREST AND THE NEED TO PRESERVE IT. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

Many people who care for the elderly do not have enough time to look after them. What are the problems related to this? What are some possible sollutions?