Some people believe that it is important to give gifts to friends and family to show that we care about them.Others think that there are better wasy to show that we care. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

A little person
believe
Change the verb form
believes
show examples
in
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that it is central to give
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
to friends and
coat
Correct article usage
a coat
show examples
of arms to show that we auto about
them.No
Correct your spelling
them
think that there are better ways to show that we care. In my opinion,I think that giving gifts is a good way to care
,
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apply
show examples
because many things cannot be solved with
gift
Fix the agreement mistake
gifts
show examples
or
money
.I think that they should be replaced by sweet water,kindness and sincerity.
For example
nowadays,
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
and even young
children
are full of culture.Parents come saying that you have beaten my child.Before they used to say that the flesh is yours and
yhe
Correct your spelling
the
bones are ours.Now suddenly they come with the police.What
it
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
this
? What kind of people will these
children
be in the future if
this
situation continues?
This
problem needs to be solved. What should be done
for
Change preposition
about
show examples
this
?First of all,I think that parents should be more careful,They should educate their
children
well and teach them to respect the
elder
Correct your spelling
older
show examples
and the younger.Today's
children
get married thinking that
money
will solve everything,but it
os
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
necessary to explain that if you have
money
,you are a burden,if you don't have a girlfriend,
this
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
lot of
money
,it is still not a burden to find a friend,Nowadays,the choice of a friend is becoming come and more difficult.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Introduction & Conclusion
The essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion, which are essential for structuring your argument coherently. An introduction should present the topics to be discussed, and a conclusion should summarize your argument and restate your opinion. Make sure to include both in your essay.
Supporting Ideas
The main points of your argument are not well developed or supported with relevant examples. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea related to the question, and support your points with specific examples or explanations.
Logical Structure
Work on creating a more logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a central topic that contributes to the overall argument. Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
Task Response
The prompt requires you to discuss both views and provide your own opinion. Ensure that you provide a balanced discussion by dedicating a section to discuss each view before presenting your opinion. This will help to fully satisfy the task requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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