Many people these days rely on traditional medicines rather than going to doctors. Is this a positive or negative development?

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In these latter days, more and more people are choosing traditional
medicine
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instead
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of conventional
treatment
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. In my opinion,
this
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is a negative development which can lead to subversive consequences,
such
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as side effects, lost time and wasted money. One serious problem which can
be arise
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arise
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from using traditional
medicine
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is that it can lead to negative repercussions for
patients
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’ health. In comparison with
conventional
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the conventional
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way of
treatment
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, traditional
medicine
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has
Verb problem
does
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not
enough
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have enough
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reliable and repeatable
researches
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research
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that can
proof
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prove
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its safety.
As a result
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, those
patients
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who believe in traditional healing
practises
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practices
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have to take high risks of getting harmful side effects. Another negative consequence of traditional
medicine
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should be mentioned. In some cases, the time for successful
treatment
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is limited, so when it is spent on traditional curative procedures and remedies with doubtful effectiveness
patients
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can
loose
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lose
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the opportunity to recover.
For example
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, in
Russia
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Russia,
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there is a group of scammers who sell some herbal teas as a cancer
treatment
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. Unfortunately, those
patients
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who are desperately looking forward to effective cancer curation become the victims of
this
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felony. They consume these teas spending their precious time with the hope
for
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of
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healing but it will run to disastrous results.
Finally
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, the prices of some healing procedures in traditional
treatment
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clinics can be comparable with the costs in high-quality conventional hospitals.
However
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, in the
last
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case
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case,
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the expenses can be covered by
medical
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a medical
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insurance policy, which has no
such
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option for traditional
medicine
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. In
this
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way,
patients
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have to pay an enormous amount of money for ineffective way of therapy and
eventually
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eventually,
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they will find themselves broken and with ruined health.
To sum up
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,
although
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traditional
medicine
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becomes
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has become
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quite popular among
patients
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, it has caused too many issues to be considered a positive trend.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Coherence & Cohesion
The essay presents clear arguments with logical progression, but certain points can be developed further to enhance the coherence. Transitions between ideas could be smoother and more varied.
Task Achievement
Although the essay addresses the prompt, it could provide a more balanced view by mentioning possible benefits of traditional medicine, as the question implies discussing both sides of the argument.
Task Achievement
Integrate a wider range of specific examples and case studies to substantiate the viewpoints expressed and increase the persuasiveness of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Natural remedies
  • Cost-effective
  • Medical skepticism
  • Adverse side effects
  • Pharmaceutical companies
  • Accessibility
  • Rural regions
  • Anecdotal success stories
  • Holistic approach
  • Treat the root cause
  • Conventional medicine
  • Traditional practices
  • Economic factors
  • Trust and belief systems
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