IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Universities should accept equal numbers of male and female students in every subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#universities #numbers #students
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In the modern era, some people hold the belief that
universities
 ought to have the same number of genders
whereas
 others argue that statement. I disagree with the opinion and I will propose some examples based on the idea in
this
 essay. First of all, it is refutable that accepting male and female students equally at
universities
 is illegal
owing to
Verb problem
for
show examples
 some reasons. The majority of students
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are willing to study because of
accepting
Wrong verb form
accept
show examples
 the same number of girls and boys in every subject.
Consequently
, there is a plethora of uncertainties and challenges for them at the workplace in the years to come.
Secondly
, having the same number of men and women on all degree courses is simply unrealistic. From my personal standpoint,
universities
 had better
to
Remove the marker
apply
show examples
select candidates who have suitable qualifications for the courses rather than
basing
Change the form of the verb
based
show examples
 on gender. In
this
 way, both men and women have the same opportunities and it can enhance
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gender equality as well. In conclusion, I totally disagree with the statement of accepting equal numbers of girls and boys at
universities
 because it would be both impractical and unfair to select equal numbers based on gender.
Submitted by lae547918 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and fully develop it with specific examples.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical flow of ideas, using a range of cohesive devices effectively to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas, providing more depth and elaboration in your arguments.
task achievement
Include specific, relevant examples to support your points and enhance your argument.
coherence cohesion
Both introductions and conclusions need to succinctly summarize the main points of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender diversity
  • fostering innovation
  • educational experience
  • enforcing gender quotas
  • merit and potential
  • individual achievements
  • natural differences
  • gender equality
  • reducing gender stereotypes
  • balanced workforce
  • traditionally male-dominated or female-dominated fields
  • fluctuating applicant numbers
  • compromise on quality
  • diversity aspects
What to do next:
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