IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that education is important to get jobs while others believe it its experience and skills. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #jobs #skills
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is argued that education and having a
certificate
 are significant to
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
show examples
 occupations,
whereas
 other
people
, including me, think that having some knowledge
such
 as experience and ability is more important than having a
certificate
. If you have skills, you can be a brand in your field. On the one hand, whether you show your ability,
people
 know you as a fundamental person and everyone wants to have you in their company.
In addition
, you always have some opportunities to get a job
due to
 your high knowledge and your experience.
For instance
, if you are a good programmer in spite of the fact that you do not have any academic
certificate
.
Moreover
, with the advancement of technology, a large amount of sites are available for you to earn a task that you want. You carry out what
people
 want
then
 you earn your money.
Furthermore
, you can decide better in view of your experiences. When you know about substantial things in your major, you can determine well between negative and positive choices in your field.
On the other hand
, it is conspicuous that when you have a well-known
certificate
, the possibility of getting a job will get higher.
However
, nowadays various popular departments do not focus on what grade you have, they emphasize how much authority you have in your occupation.
Also
, several sites were made
Correct word choice
where
show examples
that
Correct word choice
where
show examples
people
 post their requests and you can do their requests and
then
 earn your money.
Therefore
, is not a considerable thing that you have an amazing grade to find a position. In conclusion, some folk believe that having a proper and suitable
certificate
 can help you a lot to receive a job.
Nevertheless
, others, including me, suppose that a
certificate
 is not essential for earning a position. If you have sufficient experience and ability you always can earn money because many important factories do not focus
as well as
 before.
Submitted by bazarjanimohammadreza83 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, it is necessary to structure your essay more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately, such as transition words and referencing.
task achievement
For task achievement, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Expand on examples to support your arguments to make sure that your ideas are well explained and examples are relevant. Also, it's important to maintain a balance between discussing both views presented in the prompt before stating your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: