Some people believe that individuals can achieve more in egalitarian societies. Others believe that high levels of personal achievement are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits. What is your view of the relationship between equality and personal success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is often considered that in the contemporary era, a few individual thinks that a person can succeed more in equal communities.

Whereas

Linking Words

, many

trusts

Fix the agreement mistake

trust

show examples

that

single

Correct article usage

a single

show examples

one's performance can make them successful in their life. In my, an inclined,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

child will get

achievement

Add an article

the achievement

show examples

Change preposition

through

show examples

his or her own

hardwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will

elaborarate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

on both notions which

further

Linking Words

leads to a logical conclusion. Commencing, the various factors which

supports

Change the verb form

support

show examples

the the achievement of a person in their life as they are treated as equal in their group,

although

Linking Words

, the government has passed the caste rule and because of

this

Linking Words

rule, the capable students that

comes

Change the verb form

come

show examples

in the general quota, not clarify the exams.

However

Linking Words

, the youngsters in various places are not equally treated and they

lack

Verb problem

fall

show examples

behind in their studies and

additionally

Linking Words

, they are not able to come forward for their future exam.

For instance

Linking Words

, there was a student in Agra who died

last

Linking Words

year because of multiple

attemts

Correct your spelling

attempts

of exam and fail. Probing ahead, it is very true that the person's achievement will depend on their

individual's

Change noun form

individual

show examples

performance

hence

Linking Words

, one should keep practising and do

a lots

Correct the article-noun agreement

a lot

lots

show examples

of work for their goal.

Moreover

Linking Words

, the different teenager have their own capabilities for doing their task and

not

Add a missing verb

do not

show examples

depend on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

equality.

For instance

Linking Words

, Sachin

tandulkar

Change the capitalization

Tandulkar

show examples

was

the

Correct article usage

show examples

cricketer and he achieved his goal

Change preposition

with

show examples

his skill and

harwork

Correct your spelling

hard work

her work

artwork

. In a nutshell, castism is

also

Linking Words

barrior

Correct your spelling

barrier

for those who are good in their subject but remain back

due to

Linking Words

not

get

Wrong verb form

getting

show examples

marks in the government exams.

vermarohit981.rvTue Feb 06 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure you fully address all parts of the task and provide a clear position throughout your essay. Your essay should include a clear introduction making your view known, followed by paragraphs that support your view, and a conclusion summarizing your main points.

coherence cohesion

Work on organizing your ideas more logically. Each paragraph should contain one main idea with supporting sentences that directly relate to the topic. Pay attention to paragraph structure, and clearly separate your ideas to enhance readability.

task achievement

When providing examples, ensure they are relevant and directly support your argument. Develop your main points by elaborating on the examples with sufficient detail and explanation.

task achievement

Be sure to have a clear conclusion that does not introduce new ideas, but rather summarizes your main points. Use the conclusion to reinforce your position on the topic.

coherence cohesion

Use a range of linking words and phrases to help connect your ideas and show the relationship between paragraphs, ensuring smoother progression and cohesion in your writing.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

259 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In the last few decades there has been a significant increase in the number of opportunities for international travel, with more transport routes and cheaper fares.
6
band
Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many organisations think that dress smartly is a should for workers, while others believe in result of a job instead of presence. Dressing smartly is important for certain employees, depending on the working environment and purpose of their job. However, I believe that work quality should be the top priority.
7.5
band
There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, we can see various ideas about the main people's innovations owing to the fact that a group of people believe that we have a lot of important innovations in human history like wheels , but other communities think that the best one is the Internet. In my opinion, the other items that are discovered by other people create a chance for global inhabitants to have access to the Internet, but I subscribe to this belief inasmuch as the Internet changes the ways of international citizens by improving the level of interactions and science.
7
band
More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays changes in our diet are causing several negative effects on our health, especially in the states with higher GDP, where youngsters are more likely to become obese in a premature age. Therefore, in this essay, I will discuss why this happens and the implications for the public sanitary system.
7.5
band
In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
In the college environment, accommodation problems are indeed troublesome, and there are two decisions for a student to choose from regarding these needs: whether they decide to live with their guardians or in their dormitory as they enrolled at a university from another metropolis. In fact, this problem has been opinionated and discussed concerning the benefits and the disadvantages of studying away from home. In this essay, I will advocate the advantages of studying away from home.

These days it is much easier for many people to travel to different countries for tourism than in the past. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There have been many inventions in human history, such as wheels. Some people think the most important thing is the internet. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

More children in developed countries are becoming overweight. This is a serious problem for wealthy countries. Discuss some causes and effects of this problem. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.