A few people debate that technological inventions like cellphone are making people socially less interactive. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Nowadays people are more connected than ever thanks to technological inventions like cellphones and the internet. These innovations are very beneficial for various reasons,
however
, there can also
be some cons to them. A very important one to consider is the impact these modern devices have on socialization.
As ironic as it may seem, while
mobile phones allow us to establish communication with others despite the geographical distance, they also
can end up distancing us from those who are closest. Take, for example
, the interactions with friends on social media. Since it is possible to get a glimpse of their daily life through the content they post online, many may not feel the need to organize a get-together to catch up.
It is also
very common for people to communicate through instant messaging applications. Though this
is a very practical form of contact, it´s not in real-time. One will write or send a voice message and will have to wait seconds, minutes, or sometimes even days before getting a response. This
as a result
ends up making the interaction less spontaneous and therefore
, less human.
In conclusion, inventions like cell phones and the internet have drastically changed the way people communicate. While
there are clear pros to these innovations, I agree that they create more impersonal interactions.Submitted by lucia-piriz on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
To improve your score on logical structure, focus on explicitly linking your main points with clear transitional phrases. Even though the general flow is good, employing phrases like 'furthermore' or 'on the other side' can help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, contributing to a well-rounded argument. However, consider expanding on the conclusion by summarizing both sides of the argument briefly and restating your position. This could provide a stronger and more comprehensive closing to your essay.
coherence cohesion
To support your main points more effectively, include factual evidence, data, or references. Personal examples work well, but external evidence will give your argument greater weight and persuade the reader of its validity.
task achievement
Ensure a complete response by fully addressing all parts of the prompt. Elaborate on both the advantages and disadvantages of technology in social interactions to present a more balanced view before stating your agreement or disagreement.
task achievement
Clarify and expand your ideas to enhance comprehension. Break down complex points and explore them with in-depth explanations. Consider the variety of ways technology affects social interaction and present these ideas systematically.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to support your arguments. Use real-life situations, case studies, or broadly recognized phenomena to illustrate your points and make them more convincing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.