In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

#world #shop #work #people #internet #contact #development

These

dayes

Correct your spelling

days

, it

becomes

Wrong verb form

has become

show examples

easy to

doing

Wrong verb form

show examples

anything through the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

even

studing

Correct your spelling

studying

making

Verb problem

doing

show examples

busniness

Correct your spelling

business

without any

efforts

Fix the agreement mistake

effort

show examples

.It has

advanteges

Correct your spelling

advantages

and

disadvanteges

Correct your spelling

disadvantages

.I will discuss

this

in detail in my essay below.

To begin

with, in modern

life

scince

Correct your spelling

science

sciences

since

has expanded and communication via the

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

has become more than face-to-face.

Also

, there are many applications for purchasing online.

hence

, these

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

them introverts, and

also

affeccting

Correct your spelling

affecting

on their healthy lives.

For example

the

Correct article usage

show examples

teacher in

Correct article usage

an optemetry

show examples

optemetry

Correct your spelling

optometry

clinic in Germany said that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

there are European-study appeared the result that suffering from visual

impairement

Correct your spelling

impairment

impairments

increased

Change preposition

by 50

show examples

% in every generation.

Moreover

this

impact

Correct subject-verb agreement

impacts

show examples

negatively on families.It is bringing a gab and families

disapersed

Correct your spelling

dispersed

disappeared

, everyone is busy with privet

life

inside their mobile

whatching

Correct your spelling

watching

video,

plaing

Correct your spelling

playing

games, and

also

attractive with people on the

internet

.Boring and laziness are a part of their

life

. on the other side, contacting

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the world online, and shopping proves

benificial

Correct your spelling

beneficial

it is time-saving. It is helpful for people who do not have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time, and for

employments

Fix the agreement mistake

employment

show examples

Although

, it is easier to

moves

Wrong verb form

move

show examples

from one section to another inside the application at the same time.

Such

as choosing

the

Correct article usage

show examples

dress and

moves

Wrong verb form

moving

show examples

directly to the home decoration,

while

yore

relaxing

Wrong verb form

relax

show examples

on your

safa

Correct your spelling

sofa

and

drink

Wrong verb form

drinking

show examples

coffee with your family.

In addition

, students who

studies

Change the verb form

study

show examples

in another country can contact

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their parents easily and without any

complecated

Correct your spelling

complaints

, and

feels

Correct subject-verb agreement

feel

show examples

like they are there so it does not seem that they are far away from them. In conclusion, the

influnce

Correct your spelling

influence

of the

internet

on our

live

Replace the word

lives

show examples

are

Change the verb form

show examples

remarkable.

Howover

Correct your spelling

Moreover

, I believe that the

internet

is one of the most important things in our daily

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

.We should use it moderately.

Submitted by Amredugo on Wed Feb 07 2024

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structure

Your essay structure needs improvement. A clear introduction stating your opinion, well-organized body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion should be included.

cohesion

Work on connecting your ideas more cohesively. Use linking words and phrases to make your essay flow better.

grammar

Pay attention to spelling and grammar. Frequent errors can make your essay hard to understand.

content

Include more specific examples and explanations to support your points. Ensure these examples are directly related to the question prompt.

task response

Ensure your essay directly addresses the task. Discuss both sides of the argument clearly and provide a balanced view before giving your opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
43Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

275 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world, it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is it a positive or negative development?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people believe that children should start learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

You and your family are planning to spend a weekend at a seaside hotel. When you will be arriving and leaving What type of rooms you would like and ask how much the weekend will cost Inquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel

Many young people, after finishing thier studies, are unable to find jobs. Why? What are the effects on an individual as well as the society? What cam be done to solve their problem.?

Some People think it is better to choose friends who always have the same opinions as them.Other people believe it is good to have friends who sometimes disagree with them.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many people think that important things in life are mostly free or can’t be bought. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?