Some people consider price as most important thing to think about when buying product (such as cell phone) or service (eg medical treatment). Do you agree or disagree?
In the present day, there are a lot of costly products
outhere
, which is essential for everyone. The lion's share of Correct your spelling
out here
out there
that is
about how much do
we need to spend Unnecessary verb
apply
for
cell Change preposition
on
phone
or medical treatment. It Fix the agreement mistake
phones
is disagree
that price Change the verb form
is disagreed
as
Correct your spelling
is
most
important thing to think about when we need to make a payment. Eventually, the more we spend, the more we get so analysing Add an article
the most
a most
this
situation wil
prove Correct your spelling
will
this
.
On the one hand, most flagships telephone
will be expensive as how they perform to us. Fix the agreement mistake
flagship telephones
For instance
, Apple was
made Unnecessary verb
apply
Correct article usage
the iphone
iphone
15 recently , which is an up-to-date phone from their franchise and it Correct your spelling
iPhone
include
a lot of fantastic Change the verb form
includes
stuffs
like new Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
design
, Fix the agreement mistake
designs
modern
technologies. Nowadays, a part of society always Correct word choice
and modern
hunt
for Correct subject-verb agreement
hunts
the
new flagship phones and Correct article usage
apply
take
Correct subject-verb agreement
takes
it
home as a reward for them for the whole working year, but the crucial Correct pronoun usage
them
things
is that new Fix the agreement mistake
thing
phone
will Fix the agreement mistake
phones
be overprice
as their real performance from year to year. Mostly, the telephone will Change the verb form
be overpriced
lost
Change the verb form
lose
be lost
their
value from 2 to 3 years back in the day, which is Correct pronoun usage
its
result
in a bunch of Wrong verb form
resulted
second hand
phones that affordable for everyone.
Add a hyphen
second-hand
On the other hand
, service
like medical Fix the agreement mistake
services
trreatment
mostly Correct your spelling
treatment
treatments
adhere
to the Change the verb form
adheres
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
stricts
about the cost. They can not make an Correct your spelling
strictness
adjust
to it so people need to spend Replace the word
adjustment
a
right amount of money for their own health. The most important thing to everyone is our health, which is money sometimes can not buy it because of our Correct article usage
the
mistake
or unfortunate Fix the agreement mistake
mistakes
situation
. We need to prepare for everything that may happen in the future so people nowadays usually save some money for the bad scene.
In conclusion, Fix the agreement mistake
situations
personally
Add a comma
personally,
i
think price is not Change the capitalization
I
of
the the crucial thing about Change preposition
apply
product
or service, it is about what we spend our salary on and how we use it to not get a bad living Correct article usage
a product
standards
.Correct the article-noun agreement
standard
Submitted by huyhaha2007 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, focus on expanding and developing your ideas more fully, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main point that is elaborated on with specific details or examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on linking ideas and paragraphs more clearly with a range of discourse markers and cohesive devices to create a more logical flow throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Ensure that the essay directly addresses all parts of the task prompt. It is important to fully explore the implications of the statement given, providing a more balanced argument with explanations and examples for both agreement and disagreement.
Task Achievement
Use more specific examples to illustrate your points. It is not sufficient to make general statements; support your arguments with concrete evidence or scenarios.
Task Achievement
Aim for clarity and precision in your writing. Work on constructing sentences that are easy to understand and avoid overly complex or confusing phrasing.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.