The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now, and plans for its development.
The given representation depicts
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the development plan
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of a
town
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
, known as Islip from what is being now. At first glance is evident that
vast
Change the article
a vast
the vast
show examples
number of constructions are estimated
such
as
dual
Correct article usage
a dual
show examples
carriageway around the
town
, which is the obvious one. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the nowadays plan, the
town
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
is contained
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a main road from west to east
that is
passed through 2
raw
Correct your spelling
row
show examples
of
shops
.
This
part of
town
is predicted more expanding.
For example
,
upside
Correct article usage
the upside
show examples
raw of
shops
would be modified as a shopping
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
moreover
, some construction namely
bus
Correct article usage
a bus
show examples
station, car park and new housing
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
contributed to
perior
Correct your spelling
prior
shops
location.
On the other hand
, can be seen the main road is changing into
Add an article
a pedestrian
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pedestrian only
Add a hyphen
pedestrian-only
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while
the south
shops
remaining
Wrong verb form
remain
show examples
still.
In addition
, the housing area right under
southern
Correct article usage
the southern
show examples
shops
is going to expand
while
the park is decreasing in
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
size. The school location will be unchanged and a carriageway is called Dual expected to be built all around the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Submitted by amirisoodabeh24 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
Vocabulary: Replace the words town, center, shops with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Small town
  • Centre
  • Development
  • Maps
  • Plans
  • Introduce
  • Topic
  • Purpose
  • Essay
  • Description
  • Current
  • Key features
  • Facilities
  • Advantages
  • Positive aspects
  • Benefits
  • Proposed
  • Changes
  • Improvements
  • Suggested
  • Potential
  • Course of action
  • Summarize
  • Opinion
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