Other ordinary people fell that government workers are underrate and should be paid more mainly when other human like self government workers are paid more money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work that they do You agree with this topic ? Who and what criteria should be used to decide this problem and how much people are paid ?

Now
people
understand that
self government
Add a hyphen
self-government
show examples
people
receives
Correct subject-verb agreement
receive
show examples
more money than
people
who
working
Change the form of the verb
work
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
persons
Replace the word
people
show examples
. Film actors and singers company bosses and others who work
like
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
sphere give
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
just fun,
smile
Correct subject-verb agreement
smiles
show examples
and
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
mood ,
however
nurses and doctors ,teachers ,
Correct word choice
and firefighter
show examples
firefighter
Fix the agreement mistake
firefighters
show examples
they
self
human
life
and give knowledge. Personally ,I tend to think that workers who
self
our
life
should paid more than
self government
Add a hyphen
self-government
show examples
workers because their work is invaluable.
Firstly
, it
is well know
Change the verb form
is well known
show examples
that for each other their work is indispensable, but to consider with eyes ordinary
people
teachers and doctors are more needed and vital.
For example
in my
life
was one situation constrained
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
this
opinion I felt bad
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
year and we went to the hospital. I remembered
those day
Change the determiner
that day
those days
show examples
was
concert
Correct article usage
a concert
show examples
my
Change preposition
of my
show examples
favourite singers a lot of time l
want
Wrong verb form
wanted
show examples
to be in that concert, but it was so smooth.
Those
Correct determiner usage
That
show examples
time I understand that government
workers
Change noun form
workers'
worker's
show examples
employment
are
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
unstable and
hardly
Change the word
hard
show examples
. I agree with
this
topic 100
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. In my country
not match valued
Verb problem
,
show examples
teacher’s
Change noun form
teachers
show examples
, nurses, and doctors employment. To be honest film actors and company bosses earn more money. if
see
Wrong verb form
seen
show examples
to
Change preposition
by
show examples
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
and employers it is unfair. All
this profession
Fix the agreement mistake
these professions
show examples
tied
Add a missing verb
are tied
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
. When they get a job they should have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
sociability and
honestly
Replace the word
honesty
show examples
. If you choose the job which unliked you would be very boring. If you choose the job with
heart
Add an article
the heart
a heart
show examples
you will
liked
Change the verb form
like
show examples
to end of
life
. There are no bad professions there are wrong choices
Submitted by dnm.best on

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task achievement
To improve task response, ensure that the essay directly addresses all aspects of the topic. Clearly define your position and provide relevant arguments and examples to support it.
coherence cohesion
Develop a clear introduction and conclusion to frame your essay. The introduction should outline your main ideas, and the conclusion should summarize them, reaffirming your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to organize your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and follow logically from one to the next. Consistent use of linking words can improve cohesion.
task achievement
Provide more detailed and specific examples to support your points. These examples should be relevant to the topic and help illustrate your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Incorrect usage can make it difficult for the reader to understand your points.
coherence cohesion
Vary your sentence structure to create a more engaging and readable text. Use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
task achievement
Work on your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and expressions. This will help you express your ideas more precisely and make your essay more interesting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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