Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Nowadays, the young generation
prefer
studying other subjects, which are not included in their main course. Change the verb form
prefers
However
, some people think students
must put all their attention only on their main subject
. They believe this
is more crucial. In this
essay, I am going to discuss both views and give my opinion.
On the one hand, studying the same subject
might be annoying and eventually students
will get bored after some time. Students
who have interest
in other fields of study may expand their knowledge and get more experience. Correct article usage
an interest
Moreover
, they will show themselves from a good side in their future jobs, scientific
conferences, and they will complement their CVs with some essential skills. Correct word choice
and scientific
For instance
, you have skills related to technical subjects as well as
foreign languages. As a result
, you can solve the problems then
or communicate on both topics.
On the other hand
, students
must devote all their time and effort to studying for a qualification. Because you can forget about the things which you learned from main
Change the article
the main
subject
,
Remove the comma
apply
while
studying extra-curricular activities. In addition
, you can lose interest in a specific subject
, which can lead to not a pleasant consequence. To illustrate this
, some universities’ systems require students
to learn everything even if it is not required. Therefore
, there is a problematic issue such
as defocusing, which makes students
struggle with choosing. So that’s why, nowadays, most learners have difficulties in finding out their aim for their
next stage of life.
In conclusion, I want to say, that Change the word
the
students
at universities have to give all their minds to the main subject
and study for a qualification. Otherwise
, they can get lost in their own decisions. Nonetheless
, they can study extra subjects, but they need to be focused on their main subject
.Submitted by aksaya96 on
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task achievement
The essay could benefit from a clearer thesis statement in the introduction, indicating the writer's own opinion to guide readers through the content.
task achievement
Introduce specific, detailed examples to strengthen the main points and provide evidence for the arguments made.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by using a wider range of cohesive devices and topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to better signal the main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the conclusion effectively summarizes the views discussed and clearly states the writer's own opinion.
coherence cohesion
To avoid repetition, use synonyms and varied sentence structures to make the essay more engaging and to demonstrate a broad lexical resource.