IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The world is experiencing dramatic in population,which is causing problems not only for developing countries but also for developed nations Describe some of the problems that overpopulation causes and suggest at least one possible solution.

#world #population #countries #nations #overpopulation
The illustration presents information about spending time
of
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the UK people who did not have a job
last
 year. The
overall
 trend shown in the data
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
 the majority of humans did
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
, went shopping and found a job in the mornings. The most salient
features
Fix the agreement mistake
feature
show examples
 was that 48% of unemployed
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 preferred housework in the morning and 21% in the afternoon,
while
 22% of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 preferred to research an occupation in the morning and 12% in the afternoon.
By contrast
, the smallest percentage of individuals did not consume alcohol.
In addition
, 8% of men and women stayed in bed in the mornings,
while
 0-1% of people in the afternoons. One interesting feature is that the sum of humans watched TV in the afternoons,
coupled with
 a decline in the mornings.
Also
, some people tended to visit friends, with the exception of morning men. From the figures
in
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 can be inferred that the majority of men chose gardening,
while
 the smallest percentage of
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 worked in the garden.
Submitted by dulskywork on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Make sure to address the topic directly, and that your introduction and conclusion are clearly focused on the issue of overpopulation and its solutions.
logical structure
Ensure logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each centered on a single main point relating to the problems caused by overpopulation.
supported main points
Support your main points with clear examples or evidence, specifically related to the problems of overpopulation and the solutions you suggest.
complete response
Ensure that your essay directly responds to the prompt, discussing the problems of overpopulation and suggesting at least one solution. The current response does not address the prompt as required.
clear comprehensive ideas
Develop clear and comprehensive ideas that relate specifically to the overpopulation issue, rather than presenting unfocused information.
relevant specific examples
Use relevant and specific examples to support your points, ensuring they are directly related to the problems and solutions of overpopulation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!