Most artist earn low salaries and should therefore receive funding from the government in order for them to continue with their work. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

It is often argued that
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
should give funding to an
artist
who have low
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
to help them
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
continue their work. I totally disagree with that statement and discuss the reason why
this
isn't
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
way to help our
artist
in the essay.
To begin
with,
proving
Verb problem
providing
show examples
funding is not one of the good things to help our
artist
who struggling to finish their job. Because there a lot of
field
Change to a plural noun
fields
show examples
to handle by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
such
as education,
health
and environment.
For example
, in the
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
field. The
government
should
providing
Change the verb form
provide
be providing
show examples
proper
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
and
building
Replace the word
buildings
show examples
for
health
like medicine,
doctor
Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
show examples
,
nurse
Fix the agreement mistake
nurses
show examples
and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
operation
Fix the agreement mistake
operations
show examples
to
running
Wrong verb form
run
show examples
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
show examples
. There
considerable
Add a missing verb
is considerable
show examples
money
to provide
health
facilty
Correct your spelling
facility
and so on.
therefore
, providing financial assistance only solves the problem temporarily and just
helping
Wrong verb form
helps
show examples
at the surface. Giving proper
health
facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
show examples
and
entitle
Replace the word
entitlement
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
education which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
they
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
for their lives.
Furthermore
, providing funding to the
artist
just
Add a missing verb
is just
show examples
a short way to
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduce
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
in
Add an article
the artist
show examples
artist
Change noun form
artist's
show examples
life. In my point of view,
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
demanding
Replace the word
demand
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
art
Correct article usage
the art
show examples
market should be provided by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
For instance
,
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
make
a programs
Correct the article-noun agreement
a program
programs
show examples
to promote artwork by
an artists
Correct the article-noun agreement
artists
an artist
show examples
or make an exhibition to
provided
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
to share their work and
also
earn
money
for that event.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
result of
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
programs, we want to
rose
Verb problem
raise
show examples
awareness of artwork, so the
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
can earn
money
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
own
Correct pronoun usage
their own
show examples
work. in conclusion,
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists
show examples
who earn
low
Correct word choice
little
show examples
money
should not provided by give funding. But make their industry
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
improve and develop so they can be spirit to make their own artwork
while
the
government
also
take care
another
Change preposition
of another
show examples
field to be focused
.
Change preposition
on.
show examples
Submitted by fiez97 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
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Coherence and Cohesion
Develop your main points with supporting details and examples. Each paragraph should contain a clear main idea and supporting sentences that relate directly to that idea.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • economic benefits
  • tourism
  • employment
  • investment
  • government support
  • patronage
  • crowdfunding
  • allocation
  • criteria
  • artistic freedom
  • innovation
  • emerging artists
  • diverse forms
  • creative industry
  • financial struggles
  • drawbacks
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