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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.

The graph shows the amount of money spent on book in Germany, France, Italy and Austria between 1995 and 2005.
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The provided line graph delineates how people in four
Europian
Correct your spelling
European
show examples
 countries spent their money on
books
Use synonyms
 in the interval between 1995 and 2005.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is readily apparent that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Germans have bought
books
Use synonyms
 more than others throughout the whole years,
in contrast
Linking Words
,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
overall
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the Austrian's
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Austrian's
Change noun form
Austrian
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 crowd
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 not willing to
buying
Change the verb
buy
show examples
books
Use synonyms
 as much as others,
also
Linking Words
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
for three years 2003,2004 and 2005 their
Use synonyms
books
Fix the agreement mistake
book
show examples
 shops were crowd more than Italy's.
First,
Linking Words
at the start point of the
measurement
Add a comma
measurement,
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 the
numers
Correct your spelling
numbers
 80, 55, and 50
Fix the agreement mistake
million
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millions
Add the preposition
millions of
show examples
 American
dolloars
Correct your spelling
dollars
 show money spent on
book-shopping
Correct your spelling
book shopping
show examples
 in Germany
France
Use synonyms
 and Italy
repectively
Correct your spelling
respectively
. the rank of each country does not
changed
Change the verb form
change
show examples
 with an expectation of Italy, Germany was the most active in reading
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
next,
Linking Words
France
Use synonyms
 ranked two.
to
Capitalize word
To
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 be more precise:about 95
millions
Change to singular
million
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 for Germany, 74 for
France
Use synonyms
 and just over 60 for Italy. Some alternation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 taken place during those years,the
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 in Austria was sharp and it
overtake
Change the verb form
overtakes
show examples
 Italy in2003 in spite of
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 experience of
level
Add an article
the level
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 of from 1999 to 2001.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
climbing
Correct article usage
the climbing
show examples
 of Italian people in book-shopping was changed to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 and because of that was not
success
Correct article usage
a success
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 to
becomig
Correct your spelling
becoming
become
replace
Wrong verb form
replacing
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
France
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 they were
approximalty equall
Correct your spelling
approximately equal
 in 1997.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books, france with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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