IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It
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It is
It was
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 still debatable whether nowadays many
children
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 are not reading fluently.
This
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 essay will explain why
this
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 phenomenon could
be happen
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happen
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 and how to encourage
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 reading fluency. First and foremost, we should remember we live in
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
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 development era. Many pupils are using
gadget
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gadgets
show examples
 immersively and devoting their time to
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
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Add an article
the video
a video
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video
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videos
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.
According to
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 research, watching video only
activate
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activates
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children
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's vision and hearing of sound. They do not understand what is the shape of
alphabet
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the alphabet
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 or
word
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words
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 that they have
hear
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heard
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 because
this
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 feature
is not appear
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does not appear
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 in many
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children
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children's
show examples
video
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videos
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.
Then
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, limited experience with
books
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 could be another cause of
this
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 case.
Junior
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Juniors
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 who are not trying to have or hold any
books
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 might not know about what is in a book. Normally,
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children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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 will use engaging
illustration
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illustrations
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 and
font
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fonts
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 so
children
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could
Wrong verb form
can
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 learn what
is
Correct article usage
the is
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 alphabet.
Therefore
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, using the mobile phone excessively and
do
Verb problem
apply
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not
try
Wrong verb form
trying
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 to bring
children
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 closer to the book will answer why
children
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 recently difficult to read. To prevent
this
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, there are several programs made for training
children
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's reading fluency.
First,
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parents
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 should
concious
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conscious
 of
drawbacks
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the drawbacks
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effects
Correct word choice
and effects
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 of
gadget
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gadgets
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 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not give
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the phone
a phone
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phone
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phones
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 to
children
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.
Then
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,
parents
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 could change
gadget
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gadgets
show examples
 with
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children
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children's
show examples
books
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 especially recently there are a lot of
books
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 that
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 interesting with technology enhancement and any sound that help
children
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 to understand phonetics. Another method that
parents
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 can try is
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
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read aloud
Add a hyphen
read-aloud
show examples
. By reading aloud with
parents
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,
children
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's
brain
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brains
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 will activate and think if reading is a meaningful experience.
Children
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also
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 learn the phonetics with the intonation from
parents
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 and
this
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 could boost
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children
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children's
show examples
 reading skills. In conclusion,
children
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 will have interesting reading
activity
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activities
show examples
 if they are not getting to know cellphones too early. If so,
parents
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 could try read
aloud
Correct your spelling
read-aloud
show examples
 method to enhance junior reading skills.

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structure
Pay attention to the essay structure, ensuring an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion are clear.
development
Develop main points with more detailed explanations, and ensure they directly address the topic of why children may find it difficult to read and what measures can be taken to encourage reading.
cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs transition smoothly between ideas.
examples
Incorporate specific examples or data to support your points, giving your essay more relevance and impact.
grammar & clarity
Reread and correct the essay to eliminate grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and readability.
conclusion
Work on refining your conclusion to clearly summarize the key points made within the essay and reinforcing your position on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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