IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic. It is often argued that it is difficult to get children to read. Why do you think this is? What measures could be taken to encourage children to read more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task.

#topic #children #measures #minutes
It
Add a verb
It is
It was
show examples
 still debatable whether nowadays many
children
 are not reading fluently.
This
 essay will explain why
this
 phenomenon could
be happen
Change the verb form
happen
show examples
 and how to encourage
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 reading fluency. First and foremost, we should remember we live in
technology
Correct article usage
a technology
show examples
 development era. Many pupils are using
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 immersively and devoting their time to
watch
Wrong verb form
watching
show examples
Add an article
the video
a video
show examples
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
.
According to
 research, watching video only
activate
Correct subject-verb agreement
activates
show examples
children
's vision and hearing of sound. They do not understand what is the shape of
alphabet
Correct article usage
the alphabet
show examples
 or
word
Fix the agreement mistake
words
show examples
 that they have
hear
Change the form of the verb
heard
show examples
 because
this
 feature
is not appear
Change the verb form
does not appear
show examples
 in many
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
.
Then
, limited experience with
books
 could be another cause of
this
 case.
Junior
Fix the agreement mistake
Juniors
show examples
 who are not trying to have or hold any
books
 might not know about what is in a book. Normally,
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
show examples
 will use engaging
illustration
Fix the agreement mistake
illustrations
show examples
 and
font
Fix the agreement mistake
fonts
show examples
 so
children
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 learn what
is
Correct article usage
the is
show examples
 alphabet.
Therefore
, using the mobile phone excessively and
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
try
Wrong verb form
trying
show examples
 to bring
children
 closer to the book will answer why
children
 recently difficult to read. To prevent
this
, there are several programs made for training
children
's reading fluency.
First,
parents
 should
concious
Correct your spelling
conscious
 of
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
effects
Correct word choice
and effects
show examples
 of
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 and
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not give
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 to
children
.
Then
,
parents
 could change
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 with
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
books
 especially recently there are a lot of
books
 that
very
Add a missing verb
are very
show examples
 interesting with technology enhancement and any sound that help
children
 to understand phonetics. Another method that
parents
 can try is
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
read aloud
Add a hyphen
read-aloud
show examples
. By reading aloud with
parents
,
children
's
brain
Fix the agreement mistake
brains
show examples
 will activate and think if reading is a meaningful experience.
Children
also
 learn the phonetics with the intonation from
parents
 and
this
 could boost
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 reading skills. In conclusion,
children
 will have interesting reading
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 if they are not getting to know cellphones too early. If so,
parents
 could try read
aloud
Correct your spelling
read-aloud
show examples
 method to enhance junior reading skills.
Submitted by sharontaaa on

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structure
Pay attention to the essay structure, ensuring an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion are clear.
development
Develop main points with more detailed explanations, and ensure they directly address the topic of why children may find it difficult to read and what measures can be taken to encourage reading.
cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and ensure paragraphs transition smoothly between ideas.
examples
Incorporate specific examples or data to support your points, giving your essay more relevance and impact.
grammar & clarity
Reread and correct the essay to eliminate grammatical errors and improve sentence structure for better clarity and readability.
conclusion
Work on refining your conclusion to clearly summarize the key points made within the essay and reinforcing your position on the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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