The chart belows shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree courses. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after five years

The chart belows shows what anthropology graduates from one university did after finishing their undergraduate degree courses. The table shows the salaries of the anthropologist in work after five years
The charts provide information on the occupation destination taken by
anthrophology
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anthropology
alumnies
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calumnies
alumni
and how much they make in
work
after five years.
Overall
, more than half of the
graduates student
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graduate students
show examples
worked as full-time
worker
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workers
show examples
while
some of them worked as
part-timer
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part-timers
show examples
,
part-timer
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part-timers
show examples
plus post
graduated
Correct your spelling
post-graduates
show examples
study
, full-timer postgrad
study
and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
worked unknown or unemployed.
In addition
, the
most
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apply
show examples
highest income
coming
Wrong verb form
came
show examples
from
they
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
who worked in
government
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the government
show examples
sector, followed by freelance consultants and
they
Correct pronoun usage
those
show examples
who worked in private companies. One
noticable
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noticeable
notable
features
Change to a singular noun
feature
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
data is
graduated
Correct word choice
that graduated
show examples
student
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students
show examples
mostly
choosed
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chose
show examples
to
work
as permanent staff, 52%.
While
one third
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one-third
show examples
of the remaining
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
decided to
work
as
part-timer
Replace the word
part-time
show examples
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
Other
Correct article usage
The other
show examples
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
decided to not
work
. 8% decided to be full-time
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
with
post graduated
Correct your spelling
post-graduate
show examples
study
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studies
show examples
and
uindentified
Correct your spelling
unindentified
job
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jobs
show examples
. And 5% remaining worked as
part-timer
postgrad
study
. In regards to the income after five years
working
Change preposition
of working
show examples
, the ones who worked in
principal
Add an article
the principal
show examples
sector are the dominant player who
achived
Correct your spelling
achieved
the highest income among the three of
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
. Followed by 40% freelance
consultant
Fix the agreement mistake
consultants
show examples
and 30% who worked in private companies.
Submitted by meilyfransiska on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words work, part-timer, study with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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