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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table given illustrates the percentage of schoolchildren attending four groups of secondary schools from 2000 – 2009.

The table given illustrates the percentage of schoolchildren attending four groups of secondary schools from 2000 – 2009.
The
given
Verb problem
apply
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table chart illustrates the information of pupil's numbers, who
attend
Wrong verb form
attended
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 different groups of secondary
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
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 from the year 2000 to 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen, except
Use synonyms
Community
Change preposition
in Community
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 schools, the ratio of
pupils
Fix the agreement mistake
pupil
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 attendance in three batches has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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declined throughout the given time period. In 2000, the proportion of students
presence
Replace the word
present
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 in Specialist
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
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 was 12% which later on fell down by 1% in next years 2005 and 2009 respectively. There were 24%
learners
Change preposition
of learners
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 who attended Grammar classes in 2000, and in 2005, it dropped
at
Change preposition
to
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 19% followed by the year 2009 only 12%
students
Change preposition
of students
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 were left
for
Change preposition
to
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 study. There were 52% and 12% scholars who attended Voluntary-controlled and
community
Use synonyms
 schools separately. The portion of Voluntary
community
Use synonyms
 attendees decreased in 2005,
while
Linking Words
 the numeracy rates of
Community
Use synonyms
attenders
Correct your spelling
attendees
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 increased 3 times more as compared to previous years. Followed by the same
the
Correct article usage
apply
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trend in 2009, once again Voluntary attendance dropped and
Use synonyms
Community's
Correct article usage
the Community's
show examples
students
Change to a genitive case
student's
students'
show examples
 presence surged.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words community with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "give" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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