IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You work for an international company, and would like to spend six months working in its head office in another country. Write a letter to your manager. in your letter -Explain why you want to work in company's head office for six months -Say how your work could be done while you are away -Ask for his/her help in arranging it

#work #company #six #months #head #office #country #manager #-explain #-say #-ask
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Dear Sir , I am Harvinder Kaur and I have been working in your prestige company since 2018 ,
currently
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currently,
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 I am posted in Canada in
IT
Correct article usage
the IT
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 department. I am writing
this
 letter to request you to get transfer in the head office which is situated in India . I am very professional with dealing with other employees and customers, I would like to explore different work
environment
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environments
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 in order to gain more experience which will help me to become
dedicated
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a dedicated
the dedicated
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 and determined person .
Moreover
, there are certain types of glitches we are facing in
Canadian
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the Canadian
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 branch and to avoid
such
 problems training is available only in India .
Furthermore
, I am able to manage my tasks during my stay in
Indian
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India
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 because
majority
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the majority
a majority
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 of the duties are performed online via video
confrences
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conferences
conference
 and mobile phone .
Furthermore
, other employees are very
co-operative
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cooperative
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 and enthusiastic to handle other issues. Let me know if it is possible to work in the head office to flourish
this
 business ,
also
 if accommodation is available from the company would be the best option for me I am looking forward to hearing from you . Yours faithfully, Harvinder
Submitted by Kaurharvinder2984 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one main idea and follows a clear, logical progression.
coherence cohesion
Use a variety of transition words to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
While the greeting and closing are appropriate, the body of the letter should be developed to fully and clearly convey the requested information.
task achievement
When explaining your reasons for wanting to work at the head office, provide specific examples of how this experience will benefit both you and the company.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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