You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

#room #college #hostel #move #permission #type

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Dear mam, My name is Fency Stanly,

Bsc

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BSc

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. Nursing 2014-2018 batch, in

this

Linking Words

hostel. And my

room

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is 308 with 4 other students in another department. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter

you

Change preposition

to you

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to complain about my

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room mates

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roommates

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and need

Remove the article

apply

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another

room

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for me. I Am a 3rd year nursing student and I have night and day

shift

Correct subject-verb agreement

shifts

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at the hospital more than theory classes. My

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room mates

Correct your spelling

roommates

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are

Verb problem

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not consider my situation and they are gathered with friends and disturb my sleep. It is affecting my shift and studies.

Linking Words

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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took their food materials into the

room

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from the mess and

spill

Wrong verb form

spilt

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Correct pronoun usage

them

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over

here

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there

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. They are not keeping the

room

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clean and tidy. I

Verb problem

would

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prefer to shift to

Remove the article

apply

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another

room

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with nursing students. They can only understand my situation. I am aware that there is

vacant

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a vacant

the vacant

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bed in

room

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200 with my friends. If you don’t mind I will transfer my all belongings to that

room

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. Kindly accept my request and do the needful Faithfully

Submitted by fspt1234 on Wed Feb 07 2024

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Greeting and Closing

Ensure your letter has a clear opening and closing. In this case, your greeting could be more formal ('Dear Hostel Superintendent,'), and your closing could be improved by using a standard phrase such as 'Yours sincerely' followed by your full name.

Single Idea per Paragraph

Maintain a single idea per paragraph. Separate descriptions of different issues into distinct paragraphs for clarity. Additionally, explain your situation in a logically ordered manner, and support your preference with clear reasons.

Complete Response

Complete the task by addressing all points in the prompt. You introduced yourself, described the problems, and explained your preferred type of room; however, provide more details about the specific issues and how they affect you. Offer solutions or alternatives to enhance your response.

Suitable Writing Tone

Use a suitable and consistent tone throughout your letter. Avoid informal terms when addressing authority figures. Maintain a formal tone, and choose your words carefully to convey respect and politeness.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

172 words

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You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

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