You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

#room #college #hostel #move #permission #type

Dear mam, My name is Fency Stanly,

Bsc

Correct your spelling

BSc

show examples

. Nursing 2014-2018 batch, in

this

hostel. And my

room

is 308 with 4 other students in another department. I am writing

this

letter

you

Change preposition

to you

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to complain about my

room mates

Correct your spelling

roommates

show examples

and need

Remove the article

apply

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another

room

for me. I Am a 3rd year nursing student and I have night and day

shift

Correct subject-verb agreement

shifts

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at the hospital more than theory classes. My

room mates

Correct your spelling

roommates

show examples

are

Verb problem

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not consider my situation and they are gathered with friends and disturb my sleep. It is affecting my shift and studies.

Also

Add a comma

Also,

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they

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

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took their food materials into the

room

from the mess and

spill

Wrong verb form

spilt

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

over

here

Correct your spelling

there

show examples

. They are not keeping the

room

clean and tidy. I

Verb problem

would

show examples

prefer to shift to

Remove the article

apply

show examples

another

room

with nursing students. They can only understand my situation. I am aware that there is

vacant

Add an article

a vacant

the vacant

show examples

bed in

room

200 with my friends. If you don’t mind I will transfer my all belongings to that

room

. Kindly accept my request and do the needful Faithfully

Submitted by fspt1234 on Wed Feb 07 2024

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Greeting and Closing

Ensure your letter has a clear opening and closing. In this case, your greeting could be more formal ('Dear Hostel Superintendent,'), and your closing could be improved by using a standard phrase such as 'Yours sincerely' followed by your full name.

Single Idea per Paragraph

Maintain a single idea per paragraph. Separate descriptions of different issues into distinct paragraphs for clarity. Additionally, explain your situation in a logically ordered manner, and support your preference with clear reasons.

Complete Response

Complete the task by addressing all points in the prompt. You introduced yourself, described the problems, and explained your preferred type of room; however, provide more details about the specific issues and how they affect you. Offer solutions or alternatives to enhance your response.

Suitable Writing Tone

Use a suitable and consistent tone throughout your letter. Avoid informal terms when addressing authority figures. Maintain a formal tone, and choose your words carefully to convey respect and politeness.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

172 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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You live in a room in the college hostel which has severe problems. You would like to move into another room and need your hostel super's permission for that. Write a letter to the hostel super. In your letter, introduce yourself describe the problems explain what type of room you would prefer

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many museums charge for admission while others are free Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages

Some people think that old buildings should be protected, while others believe that they should be replaced by newer buildings. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. (appears most years in the test)

some people think that the sense of competition in children should be encouraged. other bbelieve that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. discuss both views and give opinion.

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and five your own

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?