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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The charts below show the avarage percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the avarage percentages in typical meals of three types of nutrients, all of which may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
#show #avarage #percentages #meals #three #nutrients
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The chart illustrates the percentages in four different
meals
Use synonyms
 of three types of nutrients which are unhealthy to consume continuously. There are four different
meals
Use synonyms
 which are divided into breakfast,lunch,dinner and snack.Meanwhile, these
meals
Use synonyms
 included three types of nutrients which are sodium,sugar and saturated fat.
It is clear that
Linking Words
 most of the majority add sodium
intake
Use synonyms
 for their dinner
meals
Use synonyms
 with
43
Correct article usage
a 43
show examples
% contribution.As for their
meals
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
breakfast and
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
 shared the same rate 14% and lunch with 29% in salt
intake
Use synonyms
.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, saturated fat shared the same proportion with sugar
intake
Use synonyms
 in
breakfast type
Add a hyphen
breakfast-type
show examples
meals
Use synonyms
 with 16% shares but it
appear
Change the verb form
appears
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 to be
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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 figure in
snack
Fix the agreement mistake
snacks
show examples
 with 21% to 42% ,respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
, for lunch
meals
Use synonyms
 slightly highest percentages
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 saturated fat compared to sugar
intake
Use synonyms
 with 26% to 19 % ,respectively.
Submitted by tifjong on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words meals, intake with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentages" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • nutrients
  • saturated fats
  • sugars
  • salts
  • unhealthy
  • dietary intake
  • percentage
  • typical meals
  • health risks
  • consumption
  • cultural influences
  • regional dietary habits
  • health consequences
  • balanced diet
  • dietary guidelines
  • moderation
  • healthier alternatives
  • public health campaigns
  • awareness
  • nutritional balance
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