IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that managers alone should make decisions in the company, while others think that employees should be involved in the decision-making process too.​ Discuss both views and give your own opinion. ​

#people #managers #decisions #company #employees #process
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Some say that it is more beneficial for managers
making
Change the verb form
to make
show examples
decisions
Use synonyms
 alone,
while
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 others would argue that it is important to involve
employees
Use synonyms
 in the process of
decision
Use synonyms
-making.
This
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 essay argues
although
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 it is
fast
Add an article
a fast
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 process of deciding things alone,
Use synonyms
employees
Change noun form
employees'
employee's
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 contributions could bring more benefits to the
decision
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. One
person
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person's
show examples
decision
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 can be useful in certain
circumtances
Correct your spelling
circumstances
. If the
company
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 operates
in
Change preposition
on
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larger
Add an article
a larger
the larger
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 scale, it is hard to take
everyperson's
Correct your spelling
every person's
 opinion because everyone has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
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different ideas which take time to combine and make things more complicated. Sometimes some
decisions
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 must be made in a short period,
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this
Correct word choice
and this
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 challenges to expect
someones'
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someone's
show examples
 answer in that time.
For example
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, if the
company
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 has a limited budget, and
employees
Use synonyms
sugesting
Correct your spelling
suggesting
 a potential improvement in the equipment which requires a
significicant
Correct your spelling
significant
 amount of investment. In
this
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situtation
Correct your spelling
situation
, the manager could make
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decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 by himself or herself. Because
,
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apply
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 they tend to ask a
continious
Correct your spelling
continuous
 improvements regardless of the
company
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's financial condition.
On the other hand
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, if managers
instill
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instil
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 the ideas of the
employees
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 in their
decisions
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 , it would bring many benefits
such
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 as less
riskier
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risky
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, and more improvements in the products and services because they have already gathered a variety of real-time experiences through their jobs.
Although
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 discussing with
colleaques
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 requires
a
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an
show examples
 extensive amount of time, they might provide the most efficient and reliable answers to the problems.
More over
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Moreover
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, involving
employees
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 in the
decisions
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 makes them more
resonsible
Correct your spelling
responsible
 for their jobs, and more initiatives would be derived from them.
As a result
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, the
company
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's
overall
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 performance will be improved. Both
staffs
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staff
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 and managers become happy which will create
positive
Add an article
a positive
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 environment in the workplace. In conclusion,
although
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 it is beneficial
of
Change preposition
for
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 a manager making
Use synonyms
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
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 alone in some instances, getting ideas and suggestions from
collaques
Correct your spelling
colleagues
 would bring more benefits.
Submitted by agiiotgon1 on

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task achievement
Make sure your introduction clearly introduces the topic and both views. A defined thesis statement at the end of the introduction would strengthen your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Use more diverse and accurate linking words to guide the reader smoothly from one point to the next, enhancing coherence.
task achievement
Develop your main points with specific examples and details. This will give your essay depth and make your argument more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to spelling, grammatical accuracy, and sentence structure to increase the clarity of your ideas.
task achievement
Work on a clear and concise conclusion that summarises your essay's main points and reiterates your own opinion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • top-down approach
  • hierarchical structure
  • grassroots level
  • strategic planning
  • on-the-ground experience
  • inclusive management
  • employee engagement
  • democratic process
  • transparency
  • cohesion
  • morale
  • practical insights
  • long-term goals
  • mutual respect
  • resistance to change
  • team dynamics
  • broader perspective
What to do next:
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