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Writing Samples
Band 5

‘Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#‘some #people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
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There is a contentious issue of whether infants should be controlled by their
parents
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 in order to make
mistakes
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. Proponents of
this
Linking Words
 idea argue that in their infancy they need to have the right to slip. Personally, I believe that the best way could be to help them to get experience
instead
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 of avoiding them from every fault. A growing number of residents believe that
parents
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 need to be responsible for their kids’
mistakes
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. Examining the former opinion ,the primary argument the supporters put forward is that because adults have more experience in
this
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life
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 than them, it can help them to handle difficult situations if they take their
parents
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’ advice into consideration.
This
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 is because children tend to accept their
parents
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 as role models, and they believe that adults know better than them.
For instance
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, Elena who is 13 years old and has the ability to solve challenging math tasks mentioned in her interview that her
parents
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 played an essential role in
this
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 way. Clearly, she was interested in music but her
parents
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 saw her ability in mathematics and gave her additional courses where she could improve her skills.
As a result
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, she is
a
Correct article usage
the
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 youngest gifted girl who can handle math exercises and become popular.
On the contrary
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, the latter view suggests that children need to decide by themselves what to do. I agree with
this
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 view ,to put it more simply even though they will have faults , they should try everything
by
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on
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 their own and find
out
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apply
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their own way, in that case,
mistakes
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 will help them to understand the situation and to build their personality. To illustrate, it is proven that if humans experience everything with their own eyes, 70%
them
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of them
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 will understand and it will not be so difficult for them to figure out the problem. What is more, children
who
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whose
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parents
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 control,
they
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apply
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can not be used to an independent
life
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 ,
also
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 simple things
such
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 as cooking, counting the budget, and having their own choices can make their
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life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 challenging.
Overall
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, despite the fact that
parents
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 have seen more about
this
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life
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 and can guide their kids, infants need to have a chance to have a choice. In the big picture,
this
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 would help them to build their own
life
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 with their own
mistakes
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 which they can take lessons from
this
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.
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task response
To improve task response, ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the topic, with a thesis statement that defines your stance. In the body paragraphs, fully develop your ideas with relevant details and examples that directly respond to the given task.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs. Also, make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom
  • Mistakes
  • Valuable life lessons
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Resilience
  • Creativity
  • Prevent
  • Dangerous
  • Life-altering
  • Adult supervision
  • Instill
  • Good judgment
  • Guidance
  • Harmful habits
What to do next:
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