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Band 5

‘Some people think children should have the freedom to make mistakes, while other people believe that adults should prevent children from making mistakes.’ Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#‘some #people #children #freedom #mistakes #adults
There is a contentious issue of whether infants should be controlled by their
parents
 in order to make
mistakes
. Proponents of
this
 idea argue that in their infancy they need to have the right to slip. Personally, I believe that the best way could be to help them to get experience
instead
 of avoiding them from every fault. A growing number of residents believe that
parents
 need to be responsible for their kids’
mistakes
. Examining the former opinion ,the primary argument the supporters put forward is that because adults have more experience in
this
life
 than them, it can help them to handle difficult situations if they take their
parents
’ advice into consideration.
This
 is because children tend to accept their
parents
 as role models, and they believe that adults know better than them.
For instance
, Elena who is 13 years old and has the ability to solve challenging math tasks mentioned in her interview that her
parents
 played an essential role in
this
 way. Clearly, she was interested in music but her
parents
 saw her ability in mathematics and gave her additional courses where she could improve her skills.
As a result
, she is
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 youngest gifted girl who can handle math exercises and become popular.
On the contrary
, the latter view suggests that children need to decide by themselves what to do. I agree with
this
 view ,to put it more simply even though they will have faults , they should try everything
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own and find
out
Change preposition
apply
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their own way, in that case,
mistakes
 will help them to understand the situation and to build their personality. To illustrate, it is proven that if humans experience everything with their own eyes, 70%
them
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of them
show examples
 will understand and it will not be so difficult for them to figure out the problem. What is more, children
who
Correct pronoun usage
whose
show examples
parents
 control,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can not be used to an independent
life
 ,
also
 simple things
such
 as cooking, counting the budget, and having their own choices can make their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 challenging.
Overall
, despite the fact that
parents
 have seen more about
this
life
 and can guide their kids, infants need to have a chance to have a choice. In the big picture,
this
 would help them to build their own
life
 with their own
mistakes
 which they can take lessons from
this
.
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task response
To improve task response, ensure that the introduction clearly addresses the topic, with a thesis statement that defines your stance. In the body paragraphs, fully develop your ideas with relevant details and examples that directly respond to the given task.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Use a range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas both within and between paragraphs. Also, make sure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points and restates your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Freedom
  • Mistakes
  • Valuable life lessons
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Resilience
  • Creativity
  • Prevent
  • Dangerous
  • Life-altering
  • Adult supervision
  • Instill
  • Good judgment
  • Guidance
  • Harmful habits
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