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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

It is increasingly popular to have year off between finishing school and going to university. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#year #school #university
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Nowadays, a lot of
students
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 have a
gap
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year
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 between finishing school and going to
college
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. In
this
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 essay, I will examine
this
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 phenomenon and try to explain the merits and demerits of
this
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 situation. On the one hand, having a
gap
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year
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 before going to University has two main benefits.
Firstly
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, people can figure out what they really want to do. To be more specific, some people may want to go overseas.
For example
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, in Hong Kong, a bunch of
students
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 are more likely to apply working holiday visa before they go to
college
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.
As a result
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, they may find out there are more possible ways to live a life
instead
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 of going to University.
On the other hand
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, the drawback of missing a
year
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 before
college
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 cannot be neglected. First of all,
students
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 who had a
gap
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year
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 may affected by academic performance than other
students
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.
In other words
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, they probably cannot catch up
their
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with their
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 study than other regular
students
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.
For instance
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, they may not go
thorught
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through
 the new subjects in
college
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 than others. In conclusion, it is apparent that there is a disadvantage that may affect
students
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 who decide to take a
gap
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year
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.
Consequently
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, Their academic performance will be worse than others.
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While
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apply
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I believe that taking a
gap
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year
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 before
college
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 can explore more possible in their entire life. some people will find that university is not the only way of
future
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the future
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. Student should be more encouraged to go out and find their own way out.
Submitted by 68aimmia on

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coherence cohesion
It's important to ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Make sure your introduction sets the context for the argument, and your conclusion summarises the points made effectively. You could improve the logical flow by using clearer transition phrases between ideas. Consider revising your introduction and conclusion to better reflect the content of the essay.
task achievement
Be careful to fully address all parts of the task. Your essay touches on the advantages and disadvantages, but your points could be developed further. Try to explain why these points are advantageous or disadvantageous, perhaps by adding more concrete examples or evidence.
task achievement
While you have provided some relevant examples, they could be more specific and detailed. In particular, ensure your examples clearly illustrate the point you're trying to make and contribute to the overall argument of your essay. Remember, detailed examples can strengthen your position and make your ideas more convincing.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • gap year
  • work experience
  • internships
  • traveling
  • life experiences
  • personal development
  • independent
  • self-reliant
  • educational progress
  • graduation timeline
  • financial burden
  • academic momentum
  • structured academic environment
What to do next:
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