It more important for school children to learn local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Learning about
history
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
whether it is local or world
history
is an essential part of
learning
Add an article
the learning
a learning
show examples
process for school children.
While
some believe that learning local
history
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more crucial than world
history
, I
personally
Add a missing verb
am personally
show examples
convinced that both are similar
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
important.
To begin
with, by learning local
history
children can know
Submitted by Deddymus on

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task achievement
Ensure that you complete the essay by developing the introduction, body, and conclusion thoroughly.
task achievement
Expand on the main points with detailed arguments or examples to support your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically to guide the reader through your arguments clearly.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more coherently.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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