In many countries, children are overweight and un healthy.Some people think the government should be held accountable.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #children #people #government

Overweight

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Being overweight

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definitly

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definitely

unhealthy and bad for many reasons. The government does have protocols in

school

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schools

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and

college

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colleges

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for kids and teenagers to not become overweight and be healthy. And it does have stuff like

Correct your spelling

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shows and facilities for them to do what's right for their own health. So they

should'nt

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shouldn't

be accountable for children being overweight. So there are classes in school like football, basketball, wrestling,

and

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apply

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etc. If anyone

does'nt

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doesn't

like one of them can choose another, there are many sports that they can be a part of, and all of these are funded by the government. If we look at pictures of eighty's, we can see clearly that people were much more fit and healthy. Because people did

care

about sports and staying fit all the time in any ages unlike

nowdays

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nowadays

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Also

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Also,

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the government have provided kids and even adults

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with a

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lot of facilities and futures to stay active. Like there are

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shows that can be

helpfull

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helpful

for guidance.

Also

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Also,

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they have issued some companies to

shcedule

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schedule

and provide

employes

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employees

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with

sport

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sports

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facilities and back them up to do so.

On the other

hand

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hand,

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blieve

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believe

that it's our duty to

care

about our own

body

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bodies

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and health. Stay active every day even when working behind a desk, you can always take a minute and

strech

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stretch

up your body. And for

kids

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kids,

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their parents should be held responsible

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apply

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because it's their responsibility to

care

about their

children

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children's

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health. like in India most

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apply

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the

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apply

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people start dancing

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very young ages and it's not only cultural it's simply because they

care

Submitted by afrough on Thu Feb 08 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, begin your essay with a clear introduction that presents the topic and your thesis statement. Make sure each paragraph has a central idea that is clearly defined and supported by appropriate examples or explanations. Connect your ideas with cohesive devices like linking words (however, therefore, furthermore) and maintain topic consistency throughout.

task achievement

For better task achievement, make sure you fully address the prompt by discussing the extent to which you agree or disagree with the statement provided. Offer a balanced view with arguments for both sides if necessary, or strongly focus on one side while considering the other views briefly. Include a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion clearly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

267 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, children are overweight and un healthy.Some people think the government should be held accountable.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Qs. As countries have developed, there has been a trend towards smaller family size. Why does this happen? How does this affect the society?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Although many people value their public parks, this space could be better used for other purposes such as residential areas for the ever growing population or to develop business and boost economies. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Many people today believe that we should abolish prisons because of their numerous problems. What are the problems with prisons? What solutions can be implemented to address these problems?