IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 1.5

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own.

#course #college #sports #facilities
Dear Sir or Madam, I am
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ordinary
college
 student.The
college
 I have been attending for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 days in order to attend
course
Add an article
the course
a course
show examples
,
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
unfortunately,
show examples
 it
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
 own any kind of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 clubs which makes me so disappointed. I have been going to the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 clubs for almost two years.
Thus
 I would love to go to your private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
while
 I am studying in
this
college
 course.
Due to
 several
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
show examples
 I have chosen your private
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centre
.
Firstly
, I have heard
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
show examples
 of positive
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
show examples
 about your
centre
.
Secondly
,It is located near the
college
 which makes it so
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for me. I would be so pleased if you could send me information about
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
show examples
 and
opening
Correct article usage
the opening
show examples
 and closing
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 of the
centre
 as soon as possible.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would be grateful if you could give me a discount for a year
due to
 my personal problems . Youth faithfully, Jasmina
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you expand on your main points with clear, comprehensive ideas. Additionally, provide more relevant, specific examples that directly relate to how the lack of sports facilities affects you or suggest solutions.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a logical structure in your writing. This means organizing your ideas clearly with a distinct introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea and subsequent sentences should elaborate on this.
task achievement
Your letter should include all key information required by the task, such as why the college's lack of sports facilities matters to you, specific requests from the sports center, and clear reasons for your requests. Make sure each part of the letter serves a clear purpose.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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