IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 1.5

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own.

#course #college #sports #facilities
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am
a
Change the article
an
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 ordinary
college
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 student.The
college
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 I have been attending for
few
Correct article usage
a few
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 days in order to attend
course
Add an article
the course
a course
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,
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
unfortunately,
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 it
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
 own any kind of
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 clubs which makes me so disappointed. I have been going to the
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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 clubs for almost two years.
Thus
Linking Words
 I would love to go to your private
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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centre
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 I am studying in
this
Linking Words
college
Use synonyms
 course.
Due to
Linking Words
 several
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
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 I have chosen your private
Use synonyms
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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centre
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I have heard
bunch
Add an article
a bunch
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 of positive
feedbacks
Fix the agreement mistake
feedback
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 about your
centre
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
,It is located near the
college
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 which makes it so
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
 for me. I would be so pleased if you could send me information about
costs
Correct article usage
the costs
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 and
opening
Correct article usage
the opening
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 and closing
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
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 of the
centre
Use synonyms
 as soon as possible.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 would be grateful if you could give me a discount for a year
due to
Linking Words
 my personal problems . Youth faithfully, Jasmina
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure you expand on your main points with clear, comprehensive ideas. Additionally, provide more relevant, specific examples that directly relate to how the lack of sports facilities affects you or suggest solutions.
coherence cohesion
Work on developing a logical structure in your writing. This means organizing your ideas clearly with a distinct introduction, supporting paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea and subsequent sentences should elaborate on this.
task achievement
Your letter should include all key information required by the task, such as why the college's lack of sports facilities matters to you, specific requests from the sports center, and clear reasons for your requests. Make sure each part of the letter serves a clear purpose.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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