IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

You have just started a course in a college which has no sports facilities of its own. Write a letter to the manager of the nearest private sports club. In your letter: • Introduce yourself • Say why you are interested in this sports club • ask some questions about the club e.g. facilities, member, costs.

#course #college #sports #facilities #manager #club #questions #e #g #member #costs
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Dear Sir or Madam I am writing to complain about
Correct article usage
the
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sports
 course in college. My name is Jacob and 20 years old I
interested
Add a missing verb
am interested
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sports
Change preposition
in sports
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club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
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 because When I was
child
Correct article usage
a child
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guess
Verb problem
I was
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 12 years old I
go
Wrong verb form
went
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 to the one
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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club
 for training
of
Change preposition
in
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 boxing and I do that.
Then
 I
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
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I am
Verb problem
to
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opening
Wrong verb form
open
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 a
sports
club
 in the same. I am really interested
this
Change preposition
in this
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club
due to
 the
sport
Change the noun form
sports
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club
 attracted by me.
This
club
 have a lot of
sport's
Change noun form
sports
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item
Fix the agreement mistake
items
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 and necessary equipment.After that items attracted
by
Change preposition
apply
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me and I like
this
club
. I have a few
question
Change to a plural noun
questions
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 regarding your
club
.
Firstly
 could you tell me information about the number of members
your
Change preposition
of your
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club
? I think it is
sizeable
Add an article
a sizeable
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 community of around 15 to 20 members in the
club
. How much cost
for
Change preposition
of
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necessarry
Correct your spelling
necessary
 equipment,
training
Correct word choice
and training
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in
Change preposition
apply
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there
.
Change the punctuation
?
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In
addition
Add a comma
addition,
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 how can I pay for tools in there
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I
hopeful
Replace the word
hope
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 that your
club
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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such
 as water, wet wipes,showers and towels for
convenience
Correct article usage
the convenience
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 of it is members. Thank you for considering my inquiries. I look forward to hearing back from you soon and hopefully becoming a member of your respected
sports
club
.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
show examples
 faithfully Jacob
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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logical structure
Ensure that your letter has a clear and logical structure. Introduce yourself and your situation in the first paragraph, outline your interest in the club and reasons for contacting in the second paragraph, and list your specific questions in the third paragraph.
greeting and closing
Use appropriate greetings and sign-offs for semi-formal letters. Start with 'Dear [Name]' if you know the manager's name, or 'Dear Sir or Madam' if you don't. Conclude with 'Yours faithfully' if you didn't use a name, or 'Yours sincerely' if you did.
single idea per paragraph
Keep each paragraph focused on a single idea. For instance, the first paragraph can be about introduction, the second about your reasons for being interested in the club, and the third about your specific questions.
complete response
To fully achieve the task, make sure to address all three bullet points in the prompt with relevant details: introduce yourself, explain your interest in the club, and ask detailed questions about the facilities, membership, and costs.
suitable writing tone
Maintain a suitable writing tone throughout your letter. For a semi-formal letter such as this one, you should be polite and professional but can show some personal interest or enthusiasm.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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