In some countries, young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
It has been widely stated that students could take a year off from studying in order to travel or work after high
school
graduating
. Verb problem
apply
However
, its cons sometimes make us hesitate about its pros. In present
essay, an attempt is made to portray the merits and demerits of a year-long break to work or travel before continuing education.
On the one hand, there are undeniable advantages to Add an article
the present
have
a year to experience a journey or job after getting a diploma in high Wrong verb form
having
school
. Not only can it open a window upon a world mirroring wonderful horizons, but also
it provides a useful resource of
broadening one’s mind. Change preposition
for
Firstly
, students’ trip
can be impressive to enrich their Fix the agreement mistake
trips
life
and acquaint themselves with the facts of independent Fix the agreement mistake
lives
life
in unfamiliar environments. Although
it might be demanding to cope with the vicissitudes of life
, it can play a vital role in their future life
and the young learn to put up with their responsibility in society. In addition
, adolescents usually evince insatiable curiosity to find out novel skills resulting in pursuing their talent in favorable job matching with their inherent power. As an illustration, many individuals are engrossed by jobs that they would apprentice after high school
.
On the other hand
, there are concomitant risks taking
a long break. Tardiness in selecting and studying academic courses is a barrier stunting to reach Change preposition
of taking
to
beloved Change preposition
apply
subject
in outstanding universities since they prefer ones Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
inclining
to continue academic education faster. Wrong verb form
inclined
Moreover
, in spite of the fact that respite from the surfeit of homework is enjoyable, it can be regarded as onset
of an insidious trend toward education ignorance. Many people believe that unless Add an article
the onset
do
they carry on schooling, they will gain money more and faster. Indubitably, Unnecessary verb
apply
this
bitter fact can bring about lots of problems later in their life
and dissuades
them from achieving Correct subject-verb agreement
dissuade
to
what they are able to get with academic qualifications.
In conclusion, supposedly, a Change preposition
apply
year- long
gap between getting Correct your spelling
year-long
high
Correct article usage
a high
school
degree and commencing new
academic year in university can have a prominent role in Correct article usage
a new
student’s
Correct article usage
a student’s
life
, but meanwhile it has a plethora of drawbacks influencing on
his or her Change preposition
apply
life
.Submitted by pooriya29 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task response
Your essay introduces the topic and presents arguments on both sides, which is good. However, consider adding specific examples to illustrate your points. This will deepen the analysis and provide more concrete evidence to your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-formed. To enhance the logical structure and flow, it would be beneficial to create clearer topic sentences and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Including a range of linking words and phrases can improve coherence, but make sure they are used appropriately to clearly show the relationship between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid overly complex and convoluted sentences as they can hinder understanding. Strive for clarity by using simpler structures where possible and vary sentence length for better readability.
task response
You might need to address the task more explicitly by stating your own view or recommendation regarding the gap year after high school. This will help in fulfilling the task response criteria better. Remember to cover all parts of the prompt.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!