Some people argue that all experimentation on animals is bad and should be outlawed. However, others believe that important scientific discoveries can be made from animal experiments. Can experimentation on animals be justified? Are there any alternatives?

It is a common
knowladge
Correct your spelling
knowledge
that from ages all tests are done on animals. Nowadays, people fight with that because of their own
believes
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beliefs
show examples
. A lot of us can think
if
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of
show examples
that
behavier
Correct your spelling
behaviour
is justified or are
their
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there
show examples
any alternatives for that. In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
experiments
Fix the agreement mistake
experiment
show examples
is cruel
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because I
believes
Change the verb form
believe
show examples
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
are just like us.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, in the evaluation
proces
Correct your spelling
process
people became
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
monkeys, so any person on
this
planet would like to be treated like an experiment.
On the other hand
, for a lot of companies that are testing on
animals
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animals,
show examples
it could be hard to change that (
for example
; medicines),
becuase
Correct your spelling
because
some products can not be put out into the market without knowing the
consciousessthat
Correct your spelling
consciousness that
it can cause.
Therefore
, it is a very difficult topic to discuss and the reason for
that is
too many opinions. There are alternatives for that for sure. First of
that is
, for
exmaple
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example
in cosmetics businesses, to make
produckts
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products
based only on natural
ingrediance
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ingredients
ingredient
, in the
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
we could skip animal testing and only reach the
neasesery
Correct your spelling
necessary
criteria to put products out.
This
is a good way to be eco-friendly and not use toxic
ingrediance
Correct your spelling
ingredients
ingredient
in our lives. As we can see it is hard to replace experimentation on animals and the reason for
that is
not a lot of alternatives. It is almost
inpossible
Correct your spelling
impossible
to treat
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
health with medicine that was not checked because of unwanted results or find a new cure for
disesaes
Correct your spelling
diseases
that there is no treatment plan (
for example
cancer).
Submitted by alicja.gebarowska on

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Language Proficiency
Ensure proper spelling and grammar - there are multiple errors that hinder comprehension (e.g., 'knowladge' should be 'knowledge', 'behavier' should be 'behavior'). Consistency in verb tenses and subject-verb agreements is crucial.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a clear and logical structure - introduce your topic, present arguments with supporting examples, and conclude effectively. This essay lacks clear paragraphing and sentence structure, making it challenging to follow the arguments presented.
Task Response
Fully address all parts of the task. The prompt asks whether experimentation on animals can be justified and about alternatives. Although you present a stance on the moral aspect, you should provide more detailed examples and a comprehensive comparison of both perspectives.
Lexical Resource
Expand the range of vocabulary used and avoid repetition. Aim for precision and variety to convey your points effectively. For example, instead of using 'for example' multiple times, you could use 'such as,' 'namely,' or 'to illustrate.'
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on developing paragraphs with clear main ideas, and follow them with specific details or examples. Each paragraph should revolve around a single main idea, which is then elaborated upon with evidence or examples.
Coherence & Cohesion
Incorporate transition words and phrases to guide readers through your arguments, establish logical relationships between sentences and paragraphs, and improve overall flow.
Task Achievement
In the conclusion, summarize your key points succinctly and restate your position. The essay should close with a strong, clear statement that reflects the content discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • scientific breakthroughs
  • ethical concerns
  • alternatives
  • animal testing
  • moral implications
  • ethical considerations
  • vivisection
  • research methods
  • ethical dilemmas
  • animal welfare
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