there is an increasing trend around the world of marriage couples deciding not to have childern.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#trend #world #marriage #couples #childern

Marriage is a process of joining a male and female through a sex relationship and bringing

children

for the next generations. Nowadays, we can see that many couples do not want

children

for many reasons. In

this

essay, we discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the pros and cons of

this

statement.

Firstly

children

are the sources of the marriage relationship. To create a new generation, kids are needed. To keep tradition in a family, they play a vital role. In

this

stressful life, their smiling face, beautiful chit-chat,

moreover

their presence make life more beautiful. Because the kid's minds are peaceful and happy. In

this

artificial intelligence world,

children

have high opportunities to do activities and

also

create things. I believe that the next generation create a different world, that we cannot imagine.

However

, the

children

are not an asset. Even they are a liability when looking at

Correct article usage

the

show examples

financial aspect. Their education, food, clothes, and other basic needs want money. And its demand increases more than affordable. It will be hard for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

parents

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

low socio-economic status. In another way,

while

considering a motherhood period, it is too long. The nine months covered eighty per cent of the year. In

this

modern world, females are more bothered about beauty and health. But during pregnancy period she suffers from lots of struggles like vomiting,back pain, and skin rashes

also

has many restrictions . The labour and post-partam period are

also

difficult. For many of these types of reasons,

such

parents do not prefer babies. In conclusion, there are merits and demerits in

this

decision parents

not

Change the verb form

do not

did not

show examples

want

children

Submitted by fspt1234 on Thu Feb 08 2024

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Introduction/Conclusion

The essay provides a basic structure but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Introduce the topic with more background information and clearly state your intention to discuss the advantages and disadvantages. For the conclusion, summarize your main points and provide a clear final statement.

Coherence/Cohesion

The organization of ideas could be improved. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Follow this with supporting details and examples that directly relate to the topic.

Task Achievement

Develop your ideas more fully. While you've presented some advantages and disadvantages, they need to be expanded upon with more detailed explanations and specific, relevant examples.

Grammar

Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and reduce errors. Your essay contains grammatical errors that can confuse the reader and obscure your meaning.

Vocabulary

Increase the accuracy of vocabulary usage to convey your ideas more effectively. The essay includes some inappropriate word choices that can detract from the overall message.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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there is an increasing trend around the world of marriage couples deciding not to have childern.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasize that their product are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.