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there is an increasing trend around the world of marriage couples deciding not to have childern.Discuss the advantages and disadvantages

#trend #world #marriage #couples #childern
Marriage is a process of joining a male and female through a sex relationship and bringing
children
 for the next generations. Nowadays, we can see that many couples do not want
children
 for many reasons. In
this
 essay, we discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the pros and cons of
this
 statement.
Firstly
,
children
 are the sources of the marriage relationship. To create a new generation, kids are needed. To keep tradition in a family, they play a vital role. In
this
 stressful life, their smiling face, beautiful chit-chat,
moreover
 their presence make life more beautiful. Because the kid's minds are peaceful and happy. In
this
 artificial intelligence world,
children
 have high opportunities to do activities and
also
 create things. I believe that the next generation create a different world, that we cannot imagine.
However
, the
children
 are not an asset. Even they are a liability when looking at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 financial aspect. Their education, food, clothes, and other basic needs want money. And its demand increases more than affordable. It will be hard for
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
have
Correct pronoun usage
who have
show examples
 low socio-economic status. In another way,
while
 considering a motherhood period, it is too long. The nine months covered eighty per cent of the year. In
this
 modern world, females are more bothered about beauty and health. But during pregnancy period she suffers from lots of struggles like vomiting,back pain, and skin rashes
also
 has many restrictions . The labour and post-partam period are
also
 difficult. For many of these types of reasons,
such
 parents do not prefer babies. In conclusion, there are merits and demerits in
this
 decision parents
not
Change the verb form
do not
did not
show examples
 want
children
.
Submitted by fspt1234 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
The essay provides a basic structure but lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. Introduce the topic with more background information and clearly state your intention to discuss the advantages and disadvantages. For the conclusion, summarize your main points and provide a clear final statement.
Coherence/Cohesion
The organization of ideas could be improved. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea. Follow this with supporting details and examples that directly relate to the topic.
Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully. While you've presented some advantages and disadvantages, they need to be expanded upon with more detailed explanations and specific, relevant examples.
Grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and reduce errors. Your essay contains grammatical errors that can confuse the reader and obscure your meaning.
Vocabulary
Increase the accuracy of vocabulary usage to convey your ideas more effectively. The essay includes some inappropriate word choices that can detract from the overall message.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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