Some people say that advertisement targeting children may have negative effects on them, and suggest banning such advertisement as a solution. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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I do believe that targeting
children
for
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
may have negative effects on them and banning
such
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
might be a solution. But I
also
believe that there are more solutions to address
this
concern.
Moreover
, there is
also
a good side
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
using
children
as the target audience in
advertisements
.
Firstly
,
children
may
get
Verb problem
be
show examples
affected negatively
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
advertisements
that don'
t
suit their
age
or lifestyle. Some
advertisements
for
children
may contain
such
things
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
toys, food, and even
advertisements
about poverty because most
children
experience it.
While
some
advertisements
aren'
t
that bad, if it doesn'
t
suit their
age
and lifestyle, it will have a negative effect on them.
In contrast
, using
children
as
audience
Add an article
the audience
an audience
show examples
aren'
Change the verb form
isn't
show examples
t
really that bad because some young people who are gifted with knowledge understand these programs and use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
as an example or a stepping stone for their growth.
Children
are still exploring at a young
age
because everything
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
mostly new to them.
Lastly
, as
this
concern may affect them positively or negatively, it is still the grown-ups' job to look after their
children
. I
also
think that
advertisements
for
children
aren'
t
published without the proper checking of the authorities.
In addition
to that,
children
don'
t
know much yet and they're still learning about life. In conclusion, targeting
children
for
advertisements
may have a negative effect on them and banning
such
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
might be a solution. Some
advertisements
that do not suit their
age
and lifestyle may be harmful to them.
On the other hand
, some
advertisements
make a good example for young people to learn from. And that they should still be monitored because they're still learning about life as they grow.
Submitted by alma_milly on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph contains one clear main idea, and use cohesive devices like linking words to connect your ideas both within and between paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a clearer, more logical structure by organizing your essay into introduction, body paragraphs with separate ideas, and a concluding paragraph that summarizes your viewpoint.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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