IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The growth of the online shopping one day closure to shopping stores in cities. Do you agree or disagree with this.

#growth #closure #stores #cities
Nowadays, online shopping is increasing rapidly, and
that is
 leading to a decrease in sales of offline shopping stores. I totally agree with the fact that fewer consumers coming to the stores will lead to the closing of many shopping complexes.
Firstly
, in
this
 modern age, most people find it easy to buy things through the Internet because one can find any product on websites with all the ranges of quality and prices.
Moreover
, one can easily compare among all the brands and choose which particular variety they need.
Nevertheless
,
this
 practice is leading to a decline in sales in shopping centres, and eventually, that causes the closing of stores, especially of small merchants , as in-store storage and maintenance costs a lot.
Secondly
, a group of people
also
 believe that ordering stuff online is convenient as compared to visiting malls.
Furthermore
, home deliveries and time-saving ordering have been a bone to every day everybody's busy life schedule.
In contrast
 to
this
 offline businesses are shutting down
due to
 gradually fewer consumers since the revenue generated by the sales is not enough to afford all the charges,
such
 as rent, transportation, bills, and new inventory costs.
To conclude
, I would conclude that the digitalization of gods has adversely affected the enterprises that are still not choosing the path of going on the
world wide web
Correct your spelling
World Wide Web
show examples
Submitted by tanyajasleen19012003 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Expand on both sides of the argument before forming a conclusion, to show a balanced comparison in your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a broader range of linking words and phrases to ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your main points and illustrate your arguments.
Coherence & Cohesion
Strive for variety in sentence structures to demonstrate a wide range of grammatical forms and enhance readability.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!