Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

These day
Change the determiner
This day
These days
show examples
and age, many claim that
countries
Change noun form
countries'
country's
show examples
residents are more similar than past because of the same
production
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the
world
.
Although
it is good for communication between
countries
and
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
easy
Correct pronoun usage
it easy
show examples
situation for
people
, I opine that they can have some negative developments for local
production
and
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate of some
countries
.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the one hand,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
similar
production
can help
people
to access easily to staff. these days
people
can access
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
production
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around the
world
. They can order some things via websites of their interests brand and ordinations are sent by branches in that country to clients.
For example
, Amazon has a lot of branches in the
world
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
their website has a wide variety of goods. If you
seek
Verb problem
look
show examples
out of
Change preposition
at
show examples
their website, you will find many
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
and original
production
Fix the agreement mistake
productions
show examples
, like Apple, Zara, Samsung and so on, that you can order
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and choose the best way for receiving to you. It is the main cause of similarity
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
and the most effective way for
countries
relations.
However
, some local businesses are damaged and the head
countries
obtain power and
money
in the
world
. By expanding similar
production
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the
world
, the unemployment rate of some
countries
has gone up dramatically because
people
have purchased foreign goods which leads local and small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
to ruin. If a manager
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have
money
to pay workers, the worker will be fired ,and it is the biggest negative point for that country.
For example
, China is famous for
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
production
in the
world
and is the biggest country in manufacturing and exporting goods among whole
countries
. Many
countries
pay a lot of
money
to import
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
production
which
Correct word choice
and
show examples
the
money
concentration is on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Chinese
production
. Some
countries
like Iran
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
high demand
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
produces
Replace the word
products
show examples
so Iranian
people
can not run
Add an article
a business
the business
show examples
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
because they can not grab
people
’s attention. In conclusion, the similarity
countries
due to
the same
production
can be harmful for
countries
because it can increase
unemployment
Correct article usage
the unemployment
show examples
rate which is the biggest controversial issue for
countries
.
Submitted by dayansabet on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Focus on developing a clear logical structure to your essay. Start with an introduction, have distinct paragraphs for each main point, and end with a conclusion. Your paragraphs should have clear topic sentences and the content should be directly related to those topic sentences.
coherence cohesion
Be sure to include an introduction and a conclusion. In the introduction, paraphrase the prompt and state your opinion. In the conclusion, summarize your main points and restate your opinion clearly.
coherence cohesion
Develop your supporting points more fully. Elaborate on your ideas by explaining why you think products being the same everywhere is a negative development. Add more detail to your examples to better support your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay addresses the task directly and that your response is complete. It seems that you understand the task, but your ideas could be developed more fully for a higher score in task achievement.
task achievement
Work on expressing your ideas clearly and comprehensively. Try to avoid overly complex sentences that can become confusing. Simplicity and clarity will improve the reader's understanding of your main points.
task achievement
Use specific examples that are directly relevant to the point you're making. The examples you provide should clearly support your argument. Develop these more systematically throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • diversity
  • homogenization
  • cultural assimilation
  • global connection
  • local businesses
  • economic impact
  • consumerism
  • standardization
  • westernization
What to do next:
Look at other essays: