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Band 6

some people prefer to live in small family units, while other think it is better to live in large family groups. discuss both view and give your opinion.

#people #units #groups
There are individuals who hold a view that living in nuclear
families
 is suitable for their lifestyles,
while
 other people assert that large family groups benefit from their living.
This
 essay will explore the advantages and advantages of both arguments, and I will explore my position that living in large
families
together with
 several generations is more efficient and meaningful in terms of helping all family
members
 save living costs and look after each other. On the one hand, living in small
families
 enables prioritising individual's privacy and diversified lifestyles, particularly the young generation keeping busier lives with their work, as they do not need to look after many family
members
such
 as grandparents and older relatives. In practice, there is an evidential trend in the number of small
families
 indicating a significant increase in major cities, including Tokyo and Singapore.
However
, the living cost of these small
families
 is a possible concern, compared to sharing
this
 cost in large
families
.
On the other hand
,
while
 a life environment is more open to family
members
, living in large family groups brings more close-knit relationships to all
members
 through frequent daily communication and conversations.
Consequently
, it is immensely beneficial for children, as they can learn traditional customs and obtain practical advice to tackle daily problems,
such
 as cooking, school subjects, and communication, from their elderly family
members
.
Moreover
, regarding living costs, the larger family can share necessary bills with all individuals thereby making their lives more reasonable and ecological. In summary, both arguments have their own merits and demerits.
However
, on balance, I wholeheartedly believe that living in large family groups is more beneficial, as it contributes to helping individuals save living costs and learn from each other throughout real life.
Submitted by taekojb77 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the seamless connection between ideas with more effective use of cohesive devices and transitional phrases.
coherence cohesion
Expand on your main points with more detailed and varied examples to demonstrate a broader range of ideas and evidence.
coherence cohesion
Provide a more detailed introduction and conclusion to reinforce your argument and summarise your viewpoint more clearly.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task by discussing both sides of the argument equally and providing a clear personal position throughout the essay, not just in the conclusion.
task achievement
To achieve clarity, outline your essay's main ideas in the introduction, so the reader knows what to expect in each paragraph.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples that are both relevant and detailed to support each point you make, adding depth to your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Nuclear family
  • Extended family
  • Financial stability
  • Emotional intimacy
  • Self-sufficiency
  • Isolation
  • Support network
  • Shared responsibilities
  • Cultural heritage
  • Interpersonal conflict
  • Personal space
  • Family dynamics
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