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Band 4

Nowadays, not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society?

#students #science #subjects #university #countries #effects #society
IN
THIS
 MODERN ERA,
SCIENCE
 IS NOT PREFFERABLE BY MOST
STUDENTS
 IN MANY SOCIETIES. IN MY OPINION, LOOKING FOR INTERESTING AND SIMPLE
SUBJECTS
 BY
STUDENTS
 IS DECREASING THE NUMBER OF
SCIENCE
STUDENTS
, AND THE NEGATIVE CONSEQUENCES OF
THIS
 TREND CAN
CAUSE TO
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DIMINISH THE IQ LEVEL OF BOTH THE YOUNG AND
COUNTRIES
 AND CAN AFFECT
TO SOLVE
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SOLVING
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 THE PROBLEMS IN STATES. FIRST AND FOREMOST, THE MOST CRUCIAL REASONS FOR
THIS
 ISSUE CAN BE CONSIDERING
SCIENCE
SUBJECTS
 BORING AND
UNNECCESSARY
Correct your spelling
UNNECESSARY
.
THAT IS
DUE TO
 THE FACT THAT INCREASING IN
A
Correct article usage
THE
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 NUMBER OF ENGINEERING, MEDICAL, AND BUSINESS
STUDENTS
 INFLUENCES THE
SCIENCE
STUDENTS
.
ACCORDING TO
 THE RESEARCH FROM MICHIGAN STATE UNIVERSITY, PROFESSORS INFORM THAT MOST OF THE
STUDENTS
 WHO STUDY
IN
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OTHER
SUBJECTS
 OFTEN RECOMMEND TO
SCIENCE
STUDENTS
 THAT THEY SHOULD TEND TO OTHER
SUBJECTS
 WHICH OFFER INTERESTING LESSONS AND BRIGHT FUTURE;
THIS
 FACTOR TRIGGERS DROPS IN THE NUMBER OF
SCIENCE
STUDENTS
 IN UNIVERSITIES.
IN ADDITION
, TODAY,
SCIENCE
 IS CONSIDERED ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT
SUBJECTS
, AND THESE DISCOURSES FRIGHTEN
STUDENTS
 TO CHOOSE THAT BRANCH OF
SCIENCE
. REGARDING ITS EFFECTS, IT CAUSES STAGNATION IN THE
GROWING
Replace the word
GROWTH
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 OF MORE INTELLIGENT
STUDENTS
 WHO TEND TO STUDY
SCIENCE
 AND CAN HAVE NEGATIVE RESULTS FOR SOCIETIES.
THAT IS
 BECAUSE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN
COUNTRIES
 STUDY
SCIENCE
 AND EVEN THEY CAN GIVE SOME PIECES OF ADVICE TO THE STATEMEN, BOTH WITH THEIR MILITARY KNOWLEDGE AND ECONOMICALLY.
FOR INSTANCE
, IN WW1, PEOPLE WHO STUDIED
SCIENCE
HAD
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PLAYED A CRUCIAL ROLE IN THE MILITARY ATTACKS, AND ,
BESIDES
 THAT, THEY TRIED TO SOLVE
ECONOMIC
Correct article usage
THE ECONOMIC
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 PROBLEMS OF AUTHORITIES.
THUS
, ENEMY
COUNTRIES
 KILLED THOUSANDS OF
SCIENCE
STUDENTS
 FROM EACH
OTHERS
Change to a singular noun
OTHER
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. IN SUM,
ALTHOUGH
 IT CAN SEEM THAT
SCIENCE
 IS UNIMPORTANT FOR
COMMUNUTIES
Correct your spelling
COMMUNITIES
, WITHOUT THEIR HELP, MOST OF THE ISSUES MIGHT BECOME UNCLEAR FOR
COUNTRIES
.
Submitted by asgerlituran35 on

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presentation
Avoid typing in all caps, as it can make the essay difficult to read and gives the impression of shouting. Use sentence case for readability and to conform with standard writing conventions.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to develop a clear structure for your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be linked with cohesive devices.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples and explanations. Whenever you mention a study or a fact, provide details and references to strengthen your argument.
grammatical range accuracy
Be careful with spelling, punctuation, and grammar. Errors in these areas can make your essay difficult to understand and detract from your overall score.
task response
Try to paraphrase the task prompt in your introduction to show your understanding of the topic and to present your own thesis statement or main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion should summarize the main points of the essay and provide a final thought or opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Avoid overly complex or convoluted sentences. Instead, aim for clarity and conciseness in your writing to effectively convey your ideas.
task achievement
Expand on the effects of the issue at hand by discussing long-term societal impacts, providing more depth and a broader perspective.
task achievement
Be mindful of overgeneralizations. Ensure that your arguments are balanced by acknowledging different viewpoints and responding to the essay question in a nuanced way.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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