An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

#people #surgery #appearance #operation #change #development

THE TREND OF HAVING AESTHETICS ON THE PARTS OF

PEOPLE

'S BODIES TO MAKE A FAVOURABLE APPEARANCE ARE BECOMING MORE POPULAR. IF SOMEONE UNDERGO

THIS

OPERATION TO CHANGE THEIR OUTLOOKS, IT ENCOURAGES OTHERS TO GET PLEASING OUTWARD FORM FOR BOTH THEMSELVES AND OTHERS. IN MY VIEW, IT IS A NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT FOR HUMANITY, BECAUSE NOT ONLY

Add a missing verb

DOES IT

show examples

DAMAGE

PEOPLE

'S BUDGETS, BUT

ALSO

IT HAS SOME DANGERS,

SUCH

AS FAILURE IN OPERATION AND ENDING WITH DEATH. FIRST AND FOREMOST, AFTER MODIFICATIONS OF THE PART OF THE BODY, THEY CAN ATTRACT MORE

PEOPLE

COMPARED WITH THEIR PREVIOUS APPEARANCES;

HOWEVER

,IT DOES NOT MEAN THAT

SURGERY

MAY BECOME SUCCESSFUL AND ANY FAILURE WILL NOT HAPPEN DURING THE OPERATION.

THAT IS

DUE TO

THE FACT THAT RISES IN DEMANDS FOR AESTHETIC OPERATIONS CAUSE THE APPEARANCE OF ILLITERATE COLLEGES AND MANY PROBLEMS IN

SURGERY

ACCORDING TO

RESEARCH FROM COSMETICS CLINICS IN NEW YORK, SOME OF THE

SURGERY

CANNOT BE CONTROLLED BY DOCTORS BECAUSE OF SOME MISTAKES.

IN ADDITION

, TODAY, INCREASING THE NUMBER OF GOING UNDER THE KNIFE IS BECOMING A NORMAL ACT FOR MOST

PEOPLE

AND FOR THAT REASON, IT TRIGGERS TO OTHER FOR MAKING COSMETIC

SURGERY

FURTHERMORE

, MILLIONS OF DOLLARS ARE SPENT ON

THIS

SECTOR BY INDIVIDUALS.

THAT IS

BECAUSE

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apply

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MOST OF THE

PEOPLE

ARE IN SEARCH OF BEAUTY AND SOME FACTORS CAUSE RISES.

FOR INSTANCE

, FAKE ADVERTISEMENTS, SITES AND FALSE INFORMATION DAMAGE TO BOTH

PEOPLE

AND THEIR BUDGET.

THUS

, IF

PEOPLE

DESIRE TO HAVE COSMETIC

SURGERY

, THEY SHOULD BE INTERESTED IN WHICH DOCTORS ARE RECOMMENDED OR WHO HAVE SEVERAL SUCCESSFUL EXPERIMENTS. IN SUM,

ALTHOUGH

MOST

PEOPLE

HAVE ENTHUSIASM FOR CHANGING THEIR OUTSIDE APPEARANCES, MANY

PEOPLE

WITNESS AWFUL RESULTS

INSTEAD

OF GORGEOUS MIEN.

Submitted by asgerlituran35 on Sat Feb 10 2024

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structure

Firstly, ensure you provide a clear introductive paragraph and a conclusive paragraph to frame your thoughts. Further, the main points need to be supported with relevant examples and facts, instead of generalized statements.

coherence

Organize your essay in a logical manner, using clear paragraphing and ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. The flow between paragraphs can be improved with better use of linking words and phrases.

task response

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task, including the reasons why cosmetic surgery is becoming popular and your opinion on whether this is a positive or negative development. Support your ideas with specific examples and develop your arguments further to meet the task response requirements.

language use

Try to use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more interesting and nuanced. Avoid repetition and make use of synonyms where possible.

presentation

Avoid typing in all capital letters as it can be perceived as shouting and makes the text harder to read. Using standard capitalization will improve the readability of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Idealized beauty standards
Cosmetic surgery
Advancements in medical technology
Socially acceptable
Self-improvement
Psychological well-being
Competitive workforce
Youthful appearance
Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD)
Physical appearance

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An increasing number of people are choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their appearance. Why are more people choosing to have operation to change the way they look? Do you think this a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays a large amount of advertising is aimed at children. Some people think this can have negative effects on children and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is often considered that change is more beneficial to people than trying to avoid it and have everything remain the same. Do you think the advantages of change outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays, parents put too much pressure on their children to succeed what is the reason for doing this? Is this a negative or positive development?

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being benefical, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The table shows forested land in millions of hectares in different parts of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.