In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing.What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.
In
this
day and age, people
expect to live longer than past increased ageing population. Although
it has numerous negative consequences, there is
varied pathways to solve Change the verb form
are
this
problem.
By increasing the average life expectancy, some negative impacts are mentioned. On the one hand, if the number of old people
increase
, young adult Change the verb form
increases
people
will damage their future and present life. Elderly
Correct article usage
The elderly
needs
to care Change the verb form
need
and
health condition, so Change preposition
for and
younger
should take care of them. It is true that Correct article usage
the younger
the
most Correct article usage
apply
of
adult workers spend endless hours Change preposition
apply
on
their workplace Change preposition
in
for
pay Change preposition
to
the
taxes and life Correct article usage
apply
expenditure
. If they have Fix the agreement mistake
expenditures
a
ageing member in their family, they will spend a lot of money and time on keeping them healthy and safe which will not have a Change the article
an
saving
budget for their future or advancement. On the other, the government take a lot of taxes to reconstruct the Fix the agreement mistake
savings
country
. If workers get old and retirement
, Replace the word
retire
it
will Correct pronoun usage
they
be faced
Wrong verb form
face
lack
of force workers in order to Correct article usage
a lack
development
and money-making. Replace the word
develop
Finally
, the growth of country
is Add an article
the country
a country
stoped
or gotten slow.
The government play Correct your spelling
stopped
vital
role in solving Add an article
a vital
this
problem. First of all, the country
’s gate should be opened to other nationalities. Some visa
Fix the agreement mistake
visas
like
studying, working, and visiting Change preposition
for
are give
to other countries Change the verb form
are given
people
who want to migration
, easily. The taxes Replace the word
migrate
are
taken from them can be spent Unnecessary verb
apply
in
different aspects of Change preposition
on
country
. Add an article
the country
a country
For instance
, establish some hospitals for old
Correct article usage
the old
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
specially
with Replace the word
especially
a
free insurance for them, or dedicate some budget to young Remove the article
apply
people
for better job
and education which is effective for Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
progresses
of Change the wording
progress
signs of progress
country
. Correct article usage
the country
Secondly
, if the government do not have any choices, some benefit roles should be set for immigrants like marriage conditions. For example
, they provide some situation
in order to marriage and Fix the agreement mistake
situations
born
a baby in the Verb problem
give birth to
country
that leads immigrants to get their permanent residency or passport in 2 years instead
of 5 years time-taking
.
In conclusion, there are border methods that Verb problem
apply
are prevented
Wrong verb form
prevent
the
society from ageing or reducing the impacts of Correct article usage
apply
this
trend which leads society to improvement and growth.Submitted by dayansabet on
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Coherence/Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on better connecting your ideas and ensuring that each paragraph flows logically into the next. Use a range of linking words and phrases to create clearer connections between sentences and paragraphs. Additionally, try to maintain a clear overarching structure that guides the reader smoothly from introduction to conclusion.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, make sure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Your essay touches on the key issues related to an ageing population, but your response could be more comprehensive. Elaborate on specific examples and ensure that your suggestions are detailed and direct responses to the problems highlighted. Moreover, development of ideas needs more depth and consideration. Be careful to consistently develop each point with explanations and examples that relate directly to the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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